Depending on who you are, calorie counting may be a No Good Very Bad idea for you.
For me it was temporarily okay, to learn where I was & where I should be, and how to pick the right foods for my workout needs...but I continued to do it for YEARS because I am exactly & precisely reason #3 that you will read in this post.
http://paleoforwomen.com/5-reasons-to-stop-counting-calories-right-now/
If you are also a high-achieving perfectionist, and you feel you need to count calories in order to get your eating in order, then my recommendation is that you put a defined TIMELINE in place before you even begin. Go ahead & log calories for X days or X weeks, using the info to make smart nutrition decisions, and then once you reach that point, STOP.
If you've been doing it right (with the goal of learning how to eat right for your body), then you will have built the habits necessary to continuing eating to your needs, and you'll hopefully have learned how to gauge that based on your body's feedback, NOT simply on what the little calorie-tallying charts tell you.
Here's where I am today:
Every now and then, when I start to feel terrible (low energy, poor sleep, etc), I realize I am probably not eating enough, so I count calories for a few days to see where I am. Invariably, I find that I am about 500 calories south of where I should probably be - so with that info, I STOP COUNTING and start making a conscious effort to add more calories. Soon enough, I feel strong & badass again.
Every now and then, when I start to feel like clothes aren't fitting right and maybe I'm a little fluffier than I want to be...I DO NOT start counting calories. I merely pay better attention to what I'm eating, and I realize that I probably should stop buying chips & pizza for a while, until my usual good habits are back in charge and most of my intake is en pointe. Then I can buy chips & pizza again, and they remain "sometimes foods" until I get out of whack again.
And my friend, listen to this: I am not bouncing back & forth between these options on a weekly basis. The first happens 1-2 times per YEAR. The second, again 1-2 times per YEAR.
This is a life worth living, far more enjoyable than tallying every calorie every day for the rest of your miserable life.
And you can get there, I know you can - if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. I believe in you.
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Sunday, May 1, 2016
You Cannot Be Quantified
This post is a moderated take on the "quantified self" trend.
I myself just got out of it a year or two ago. I was all over calorie tracking, both input & output, and seeking to measure every component of my health. For YEARS.
I have glorious spreadsheets planning and tracking and evaluating workouts, nutrition, sleep, time nature, averages, conditional formatting, you name it. I basically did, manually, what these magical little wearables can give you via the cloud in an instant.
In a word: exhausting.
Initially it was helpful stuff, giving me a whole-life viewpoint of places I needed to improve. I learned that time in nature is a HUGE factor for me. So is social time. So is complete downtime.
But eventually, it turned into seeking perfection, finding failures (which I can now see were "failures"), and unending spiral of frustration, until I simply walked away entirely, to save my sanity.
Now, what about you? If a device on your wrist or an app on your phone encourages you to move more, or rest more, or eat better, whichever nudge you need - then that's great! Use it!
But when it becomes a rabbit hole of obsession, tracking and measuring and evaluating and frustrating...knock it off. Throw it all out and just live. You can't keep increasing your steps and your sleep and perfecting your nutrition forever. You have to level off at a place that is easy, healthy, and sustainable, and simply stay there. And you'll get there by putting the proper habits into place.
These wearables are tools you can use to build healthy habits, but once you have the healthy habits in place, you simply don't need the tools any longer. Pass them along to someone who does.
Keep this perspective, and avoid the rabbit hole, my friend.
We, as a society, are awash in data. In 2013, we as a collective whole had produced 90% of all of the data ever produced in the 2 years prior. I wouldn’t be surprised if that number is not at 99% with a bunch of trailing zeros.
Of course the health and fitness industry is aware of this and producing items to take advantage of the trend, allowing you the humble user to track all sorts of things, from steps per day to blood oxygen levels, and then compare them over days, weeks, and months. This is typically lumped under the banner of “quantified self.” Suddenly, it’s all about what we can measure and objectify.http://whole9life.com/2015/02/biohacker-conference/
I myself just got out of it a year or two ago. I was all over calorie tracking, both input & output, and seeking to measure every component of my health. For YEARS.
I have glorious spreadsheets planning and tracking and evaluating workouts, nutrition, sleep, time nature, averages, conditional formatting, you name it. I basically did, manually, what these magical little wearables can give you via the cloud in an instant.
In a word: exhausting.
Initially it was helpful stuff, giving me a whole-life viewpoint of places I needed to improve. I learned that time in nature is a HUGE factor for me. So is social time. So is complete downtime.
But eventually, it turned into seeking perfection, finding failures (which I can now see were "failures"), and unending spiral of frustration, until I simply walked away entirely, to save my sanity.
Now, what about you? If a device on your wrist or an app on your phone encourages you to move more, or rest more, or eat better, whichever nudge you need - then that's great! Use it!
But when it becomes a rabbit hole of obsession, tracking and measuring and evaluating and frustrating...knock it off. Throw it all out and just live. You can't keep increasing your steps and your sleep and perfecting your nutrition forever. You have to level off at a place that is easy, healthy, and sustainable, and simply stay there. And you'll get there by putting the proper habits into place.
These wearables are tools you can use to build healthy habits, but once you have the healthy habits in place, you simply don't need the tools any longer. Pass them along to someone who does.
Keep this perspective, and avoid the rabbit hole, my friend.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Financial Fun
Off my usual topics, but something I am intimately familiar with: the mindset of personal finances.
This isn't a how-to-save post, but a "find your WHY" post:
And it's highly accurate, my own experience tells me. I label my various savings accounts for specifics (vehicle, vacation) that keeps it practical (new tires, no problem, tap the savings account) but also ensures I don't mindlessly blow money on daily Americanos, so that I have ample funds stashed for this summer's mountain vacation.
But for some people, a daily Americano will light up their life, because travel isn't all that important to them, or because they have perfectly-placed friends ensuring free vacation lodgings, or whatever.
On the other hand, I don't need enough funds for a trip to Europe, so instead I will spend a lot of my money on my personal trainer, who is vital to my daily happiness.
The point is to know what you're working your ass off FOR, adjust your spending habits accordingly, and ignore what everyone else is doing.
This isn't a how-to-save post, but a "find your WHY" post:
http://twocents.lifehacker.com/personal-finance-has-everything-and-nothing-to-do-with-1766425829
And it's highly accurate, my own experience tells me. I label my various savings accounts for specifics (vehicle, vacation) that keeps it practical (new tires, no problem, tap the savings account) but also ensures I don't mindlessly blow money on daily Americanos, so that I have ample funds stashed for this summer's mountain vacation.
But for some people, a daily Americano will light up their life, because travel isn't all that important to them, or because they have perfectly-placed friends ensuring free vacation lodgings, or whatever.
On the other hand, I don't need enough funds for a trip to Europe, so instead I will spend a lot of my money on my personal trainer, who is vital to my daily happiness.
The point is to know what you're working your ass off FOR, adjust your spending habits accordingly, and ignore what everyone else is doing.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Low Carb Danger Signs
I recognize a lot of my old struggles in this post about low-carb eating:
Additionally, a lot of "Paleo didn't work for me!" stuff I've read lately seems to be completely misleading and should actually be called "Low-carb didn't work for me!"
Tangent: It pisses me off that Paleo is automatically translated as "low-carb." it may start there, but every GOOD source will tell you that if you're active, add carbs; if it's intense add A LOT. People seem to ignore that immensely important detail, along with this one: you have to figure out what works FOR YOU, precious snowflake.
For me, low-carb worked for a while, and then it completely didn't, although it took me a long time to realize it. I now eat significantly more carbs than I used to: I consume roughly 250g per day as a minimum, and on deadlift day I typically justify an extra 100g beyond that, because moar deadliftz yo. (Also, because potato chips are delicious.)
If low-carb doesn't seem to be working for you, if you're experiencing the sort of symptoms Stefani shared, try adding quality carbs back into your diet (and even some junk carbs, if the rest of your diet is en pointe). I predict that, like me, you will realize how much better you feel with more carbs.
If you do well without carbs, hey, congrats! But do keep these tidbits in your back pocket, because nothing lasts forever.
http://paleoforwomen.com/7-dangers-of-low-carbohydrate-diets-for-women/
Additionally, a lot of "Paleo didn't work for me!" stuff I've read lately seems to be completely misleading and should actually be called "Low-carb didn't work for me!"
Tangent: It pisses me off that Paleo is automatically translated as "low-carb." it may start there, but every GOOD source will tell you that if you're active, add carbs; if it's intense add A LOT. People seem to ignore that immensely important detail, along with this one: you have to figure out what works FOR YOU, precious snowflake.
For me, low-carb worked for a while, and then it completely didn't, although it took me a long time to realize it. I now eat significantly more carbs than I used to: I consume roughly 250g per day as a minimum, and on deadlift day I typically justify an extra 100g beyond that, because moar deadliftz yo. (Also, because potato chips are delicious.)
If low-carb doesn't seem to be working for you, if you're experiencing the sort of symptoms Stefani shared, try adding quality carbs back into your diet (and even some junk carbs, if the rest of your diet is en pointe). I predict that, like me, you will realize how much better you feel with more carbs.
If you do well without carbs, hey, congrats! But do keep these tidbits in your back pocket, because nothing lasts forever.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Sleep: My Preciousssss
Whole9 lists Nutrition as the most important factor to health, and Sleep as second.
As a sensitive person who has documented this shit out of the effects of both of these, I can tell you they are 100% correct.
Sleep has become my number one priority over work, friends, family, my financials, running, TV, even my beloved lifting.
Without enough quality sleep, I fall apart, and QUICKLY. It first leads to impatience & crankiness & guilt for being that way. It then leads to poor workout performance in addition to under-recovering from workouts, which leads to injury. Allathat leads right down the narrow dark alley to depression.
Now, you might not be a Sensitive Sally like I am, quick to feel all of these effects. You might think your 6-7, occasionally 8 hours is more than enough; you're getting shit done, even if some days you're crazy tired and inhaling caffeine like it's the elixir of life.
But here's the question: do you want to get by, or do you want to feel #totesamazing?
Why not see if you can get to the latter - what have you got to lose, besides perhaps some reality TV time?
From someone who knows, consider this: if you were to make a commitment to spending 4 weeks optimizing your sleep, I truly predict you will start to feel like Superhero Sally.
Set yourself up for true success by following the few specific, simple tips in each of these posts (these are like a 10-minute read, just do it):
Try it, and tell me about it in a month.
I look forward to seeing your new cape.
As a sensitive person who has documented this shit out of the effects of both of these, I can tell you they are 100% correct.
Sleep has become my number one priority over work, friends, family, my financials, running, TV, even my beloved lifting.
Without enough quality sleep, I fall apart, and QUICKLY. It first leads to impatience & crankiness & guilt for being that way. It then leads to poor workout performance in addition to under-recovering from workouts, which leads to injury. Allathat leads right down the narrow dark alley to depression.
Now, you might not be a Sensitive Sally like I am, quick to feel all of these effects. You might think your 6-7, occasionally 8 hours is more than enough; you're getting shit done, even if some days you're crazy tired and inhaling caffeine like it's the elixir of life.
But here's the question: do you want to get by, or do you want to feel #totesamazing?
Why not see if you can get to the latter - what have you got to lose, besides perhaps some reality TV time?
From someone who knows, consider this: if you were to make a commitment to spending 4 weeks optimizing your sleep, I truly predict you will start to feel like Superhero Sally.
Set yourself up for true success by following the few specific, simple tips in each of these posts (these are like a 10-minute read, just do it):
http://whole9life.com/2014/09/improve-your-sleep/
http://whole9life.com/2014/09/improve-sleep-quality/
Try it, and tell me about it in a month.
I look forward to seeing your new cape.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Let's Bulk. Or Not. Whatever.
Lifting heavy weights may or may not make you bulky; as in almost all things, it depends entirely on your body type.
Regardless of your body's propensity, I hope that reading this article is likely to make you want to lift weights for the sheer awesomeness of it: www.girlsgonestrong.com/heavy-bulky/
I can tell you that I used to look at a friend's defined, larger arms and think they were unfeminine...but once I started lifting, I began to be jealous of her arms.
I can now celebrate my own big arms, my wide lats, my ski-jump traps.
Yet despite such celebration, I actually don't give a rat's ass whether my muscles are big or small - because the size is simply a visual representation of my strength, which is my most precious possession.
I care primarily that my muscles are strong, and they can look however my genes will make them look.
That freedom from appearance-driven results has been a paradigm shift for women who have discovered heavy lifting may or may not lead to bulk muscles, but definitely leads to confidence, pride, strength, and health.
Join us!
Regardless of your body's propensity, I hope that reading this article is likely to make you want to lift weights for the sheer awesomeness of it: www.girlsgonestrong.com/heavy-bulky/
I can tell you that I used to look at a friend's defined, larger arms and think they were unfeminine...but once I started lifting, I began to be jealous of her arms.
I can now celebrate my own big arms, my wide lats, my ski-jump traps.
Yet despite such celebration, I actually don't give a rat's ass whether my muscles are big or small - because the size is simply a visual representation of my strength, which is my most precious possession.
I care primarily that my muscles are strong, and they can look however my genes will make them look.
That freedom from appearance-driven results has been a paradigm shift for women who have discovered heavy lifting may or may not lead to bulk muscles, but definitely leads to confidence, pride, strength, and health.
Join us!
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
High Achievers & Exercise: A Dangerous Combo
Stefani drops some knowledge bombs again: http://paleoforwomen.com/do-you-exercise-too-much/
I used to overexercise, big time. Two-a-days were common: a run at lunch, then lifting weights with a friend after work. Maybe even a long marathon training run on Saturday morning, followed by a date in the weight room.
It was fun, and it felt good. I was never at the level of those who talk about 6-hour days of group fitness plus their OWN workout, no, but it was quite a lot.
For a while, it was fine; I felt great, I dropped fat, I was having the time of my LIFE feeling and looking so good.
Until I wasn't.
Slowly I fell backward, until I reached a point where I was constantly tired and incapable of completing my marathon training runs, diagnosably depressed, and stuck in a loooong cycle of restriction & binge-eating.
The above post by Stefani aptly describes the physical mess I made for myself, and it's been a long road to recovery.
Now, during my busy work season (six 10-hour workdays), getting in three sessions of lifting per week is perfectly possible, but anything beyond that feels like effort I can't produce. Sometimes I log a running date with friends & my dogs, but it's only for the social aspect; the run itself is not something I crave.
Yet I often feel like it's not enough, I should be doing more, why can't I squeeze in something on my off days?
Because I can't.
I mean, sure, on paper, in theory, I have room for a workout; just pop down to my own basement and play with a kettlebell or bike for a while or do some yoga...but most days, I have no room in my BRAIN when I finally get home from a draining day, 12 hours after I left.
And I have to tell myself regularly: that's okay.
Once spring arrives, and tax season ends, and my brain calms down again, my running will ramp up without reducing my lifting, and I will be capable of 6 days of [smart] exercise per week. But in the meantime, I'm just plain not, unless I want to smash into a brick wall of exhaustion and depression again. (Spoiler alert: I don't.)
This is what I've had to learn: I am driven to do more, better, farther, heavier, always, at any cost, because I'm an Achiever with a capital A. But despite my brain's desires, my body will usually not be able to pay the cost of those achievements, so I have to scale back to less. But the result of backing off is a capable, resilient body; one that feels good and still lets me do MOST of what I want.
I'm still learning, and my capability changes, sometimes unexpectedly. But one of the key things I've learned is that mental stress changes my capacity dramatically.
Wherever you are on the exercise spectrum, you have mental stress (job, finances, spouse, kids, bad hair days), and that has much the same effect on your body as a hard workout (though without the strengthened muscles, sadly), and you need to take that into account when deciding how much more physical stress to add in the form of exercise.
Sure, many people aren't doing anything at all, but those people probably aren't reading this. You are probably closer to the end of doing too much. Even if you think it doesn't apply: if you feel like what you do isn't enough, really EXAMINE that idea.
Enough for what? For who? We often judge ourselves harshly by comparing to the topmost achievers. But what they're doing is irrelevant.
What are your goals, honestly & truly, right now, during this season of your life?
Regularly beating yourself to a sore pulp feels good, it floods you with endorphins, and it feels like you're really accomplishing something when your muscles ache and your joints creak as you crawl out of bed...but few of us have goals demanding that level of exercise. Harsh workouts are on the opposite end of the spectrum from the goal of lifelong health.
Exercise should be enjoyable and provide you with strength and energy and stress release. If that isn't what it's doing for you, you need to make a change, and it's a lot easier to do it before you are FORCED to do it by a body battling back at you.
Find your capacity for awesome, and then celebrate your achievements with the world. (Hint: "the world" includes you.)
I used to overexercise, big time. Two-a-days were common: a run at lunch, then lifting weights with a friend after work. Maybe even a long marathon training run on Saturday morning, followed by a date in the weight room.
It was fun, and it felt good. I was never at the level of those who talk about 6-hour days of group fitness plus their OWN workout, no, but it was quite a lot.
For a while, it was fine; I felt great, I dropped fat, I was having the time of my LIFE feeling and looking so good.
Until I wasn't.
Slowly I fell backward, until I reached a point where I was constantly tired and incapable of completing my marathon training runs, diagnosably depressed, and stuck in a loooong cycle of restriction & binge-eating.
The above post by Stefani aptly describes the physical mess I made for myself, and it's been a long road to recovery.
Now, during my busy work season (six 10-hour workdays), getting in three sessions of lifting per week is perfectly possible, but anything beyond that feels like effort I can't produce. Sometimes I log a running date with friends & my dogs, but it's only for the social aspect; the run itself is not something I crave.
Yet I often feel like it's not enough, I should be doing more, why can't I squeeze in something on my off days?
Because I can't.
I mean, sure, on paper, in theory, I have room for a workout; just pop down to my own basement and play with a kettlebell or bike for a while or do some yoga...but most days, I have no room in my BRAIN when I finally get home from a draining day, 12 hours after I left.
And I have to tell myself regularly: that's okay.
Once spring arrives, and tax season ends, and my brain calms down again, my running will ramp up without reducing my lifting, and I will be capable of 6 days of [smart] exercise per week. But in the meantime, I'm just plain not, unless I want to smash into a brick wall of exhaustion and depression again. (Spoiler alert: I don't.)
This is what I've had to learn: I am driven to do more, better, farther, heavier, always, at any cost, because I'm an Achiever with a capital A. But despite my brain's desires, my body will usually not be able to pay the cost of those achievements, so I have to scale back to less. But the result of backing off is a capable, resilient body; one that feels good and still lets me do MOST of what I want.
I'm still learning, and my capability changes, sometimes unexpectedly. But one of the key things I've learned is that mental stress changes my capacity dramatically.
Wherever you are on the exercise spectrum, you have mental stress (job, finances, spouse, kids, bad hair days), and that has much the same effect on your body as a hard workout (though without the strengthened muscles, sadly), and you need to take that into account when deciding how much more physical stress to add in the form of exercise.
Sure, many people aren't doing anything at all, but those people probably aren't reading this. You are probably closer to the end of doing too much. Even if you think it doesn't apply: if you feel like what you do isn't enough, really EXAMINE that idea.
Enough for what? For who? We often judge ourselves harshly by comparing to the topmost achievers. But what they're doing is irrelevant.
What are your goals, honestly & truly, right now, during this season of your life?
Regularly beating yourself to a sore pulp feels good, it floods you with endorphins, and it feels like you're really accomplishing something when your muscles ache and your joints creak as you crawl out of bed...but few of us have goals demanding that level of exercise. Harsh workouts are on the opposite end of the spectrum from the goal of lifelong health.
Exercise should be enjoyable and provide you with strength and energy and stress release. If that isn't what it's doing for you, you need to make a change, and it's a lot easier to do it before you are FORCED to do it by a body battling back at you.
Find your capacity for awesome, and then celebrate your achievements with the world. (Hint: "the world" includes you.)
Monday, February 29, 2016
Do what you can
On today's run, I struggled.
I took a walk break only 5 minutes out, because it was just too hard. I decided to run 5/walk 2, even though I should be able to do more - but okay, maybe not, not after the weeks I've had. I guess I can adjust my expectations for today.
After two rounds of 5/2, I didn't even want to run 5 minutes, so I readjusted, again. I dialed it WAAAY back, running just 1 minute, then walking 1 minute, and repeat. That was so much easier on the brain - I only had to run for 1 little minute, not enough time for it to get tough.
For a couple stretches I let myself be disappointed. The internal dialogue point out that I have run marathons, and 50Ks, and I've even won a 5K & a 10K, and yet today I literally can't even run ONE kilometer without a walk break?
Man, don't I suck.
But no, eventually I was able to argue: I don't suck. None of ^that^ is relevant to today, 2 months into tax season after barely running for three months, the day after learning one of my bestest friends is moving across the country, after a solid month spent fighting the depths of depression.
In light of those facts...I kicked ass today, merely by going out and doing something.
I thought of a quote that I love, and often use on myself and on other people:
And I added some extra thoughts as I walked along:
Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.
I took a walk break only 5 minutes out, because it was just too hard. I decided to run 5/walk 2, even though I should be able to do more - but okay, maybe not, not after the weeks I've had. I guess I can adjust my expectations for today.
After two rounds of 5/2, I didn't even want to run 5 minutes, so I readjusted, again. I dialed it WAAAY back, running just 1 minute, then walking 1 minute, and repeat. That was so much easier on the brain - I only had to run for 1 little minute, not enough time for it to get tough.
For a couple stretches I let myself be disappointed. The internal dialogue point out that I have run marathons, and 50Ks, and I've even won a 5K & a 10K, and yet today I literally can't even run ONE kilometer without a walk break?
Man, don't I suck.
But no, eventually I was able to argue: I don't suck. None of ^that^ is relevant to today, 2 months into tax season after barely running for three months, the day after learning one of my bestest friends is moving across the country, after a solid month spent fighting the depths of depression.
In light of those facts...I kicked ass today, merely by going out and doing something.
I thought of a quote that I love, and often use on myself and on other people:
And I added some extra thoughts as I walked along:
Start where you are.
Start where you are RIGHT THIS MOMENT. Not where you were 5 years ago, 1 year ago, last week, not even this morning. Just now.
Use what you have.
Not what you once had. Not what you think you need. Not what you desperately want.
Do what you can.
Only that, and no more. Maybe less.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
You Are The Sun
Consider the sun.
It doesn't change. EVAH. It's the exact same, day in & day out.
For millennia.
But the Earth changes, and it shifts our perspective of the sun rather dramatically.
In our little blip of a life, we see so many gorgeous sunrises, so many bright warm noontimes, and sigh over brilliant sunsets.
Same sun. Same position. No change.
Its changing beauty lies COMPLETELY in our own perspective, and we appreciate it always.
What if you are the sun?
Who thinks you gorgeous at 6am? Loves your loud laughter at lunch? Sighs over your perfect bear hugs in the evening?
Your loved ones do.
And they adore you regardless of how you change, or don't change.
They will be quite happy if you never change.
In their eyes, you have always been the epitome of perfection, from every angle.
Always.
BELIEVE THEM.
It doesn't change. EVAH. It's the exact same, day in & day out.
For millennia.
But the Earth changes, and it shifts our perspective of the sun rather dramatically.
In our little blip of a life, we see so many gorgeous sunrises, so many bright warm noontimes, and sigh over brilliant sunsets.
Same sun. Same position. No change.
Its changing beauty lies COMPLETELY in our own perspective, and we appreciate it always.
What if you are the sun?
Who thinks you gorgeous at 6am? Loves your loud laughter at lunch? Sighs over your perfect bear hugs in the evening?
Your loved ones do.
And they adore you regardless of how you change, or don't change.
They will be quite happy if you never change.
In their eyes, you have always been the epitome of perfection, from every angle.
Always.
BELIEVE THEM.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
6 weeks to a better, smaller, happier YOU!
Short-term transformations (lose 10 lbs in 30 days! 6 weeks to toned abs!) are a big thing, a big deal, a big addiction - and usually a big problem, in my mind.
I find it very difficult to support them, unless they are undertaken as a great way to build healthy habits, such as cooking more healthily, regularly exercising in a fun way, things that legitimately focus on HEALTH. And these do exist, usually within communities that are supportive and encouraging - if you find this, DO IT! It might change your life.
But such a healthy-habit focus is the rare exception, in my experience. These short-term efforts usually focus on appearance, because it's hard to measure changes in overall health in 6 weeks, or celebrate something as unsexy as 30 days of habit-building - but it's very easy to measure pounds & inches.
And that's what the consumer wants anyway.
So, the 30 days or 6 weeks are about the quick fix: drastic changes that can only ever be temporary...and you are then supposed to go back to your normal life, but svelter, and OBVIOUSLY happier.
The problem is, you may not be able to. You may think that the way you lived those six grueling weeks should be the way you live your everyday life. So you try to keep it up, but eventually you fail. Then you may give up on health & fitness altogether, or you may have simply completely fucked up your hormones, or developed an eating disorder. You most likely will regain the exact same weight you lost, maybe more.
It happened to me. I learned that those six weeks have great power to Fuck. You. Up.
This guy writes about his 6-pack #absperiment: http://greatist.com/fitness/six-pack-abs-six-weeks-one-year-later And what he learned, this right here, is absolutely PROFOUND, and yet you won't realize this until after you, too, have fucked yourself up:
YES. Except "sometimes" should be "99.99% of the time." And "less happy" should be "infinitely more miserable."
Honestly, I wish he had written more extensively about the impact on his mind, rather than keeping it short & sweet, because it's basically everything I've gone through since 2010. And I'm STILL not over it, nearly 6 years later.
Some days I get close, and much more frequently than before, but the evil voice, she always manages to get back in, and whisper her hateful chorus: "you're fat, you're getting fatter, eat less, try fasting again, go low carb, cycle carbs, you're gross, look at your belly, look at that cellulite, god, what are you doing, you're always going to be fat, you worthless piece of shit."
And this horrendously evil cunty internal voice wasn't in my head before the 6-week body-fat beatdown that made me equate my value with my appearance. Before, I was unhappy with my appearance, but it didn't define me. I felt strong and healthy and I was having fun with fitness, though I disliked my belly...and I wish to every imagined god that I had been content with that right there.
Because as I lost fat, I gained compliments left and right, and I loved them, soaked them up, put myself in a position to hear them again & again...and I began to believe that it was vital I be small & pretty, that it fucking MATTERED. So once I had fucked up my hormones, metabolism, whatever the science would call it, and gained weight despite giving all of my effort to undereating and overexercising, I became unworthy of compliments, I became unworthy of love, especially from my own damn self.
I am coming up on the 6-year anniversary of my 6 weeks, and the best way I could celebrate it would be to stop others, YOU, from doing this. I want you to learn from the mistakes of the rest of us. I do not want you, or anyone, to feel the way I felt...feel. Because it is no way to live your life. It's perfectly awful.
Sure, there's no guarantee this will happen to you. Some people spend 6 weeks on an annual or semi-annual basis targeting their body fat, and then go back to normal life, and don't spiral into long-term obsessions and eating disorders.
But...those people probably aren't scouring the internet for topics like this. They don't rush from link to link, trying to find the secret to the happy life a smaller body will give them, if they could just GET IT.
So, let me pull back from all that rambling about my messy life, that I can't tie up in a bow (some day, I hope), and simply beg you: use caution.
Short-term transformations aren't inherently bad, but they are dangerous territory.
Why not craft your own challenge instead?
Seek sustainable life changes during the next month. Add a healthy habit like replacing soda with water, toaster pastries with eggs, or takeout pizza with homemade. Instead of watching that crappy TV show every Wednesday night, join your SO for a walk through the neighborhood. Instead of sitting on the bleachers during your son's soccer game, make laps around the track.
Skip the beat-you-to-a-pulp cardio-based fitness classes that leave you feeling like a fat heaving cow compared to the tiny perky instructor, and invest in a good personal trainer who can teach you how to lift. Join a softball league and quit your dart league.
Do a Whole30, not for weight loss (ever), but to learn exactly how your body responds to different foods (and then make a planned, careful, slow reintroduction phase, not a simple return to "before").
Or, focus on the mental, and spend 6 weeks working on loving your body for what it is, what it has done, what it can do. Because it's damned amazing, no matter what it looks like.
Little things like this are unsexy, but oh, my friend, the changes you will experience will be lifelong, and so much more beneficial than shaming yourself into pursuing a tinier version of you. You are capable of so much more than looking pretty & thin. You are not an ornament.
When you're 90, and looking back on your life...what will you be most proud of?
It won't be losing 10 pounds in a month, and it definitely won't be giving yourself an eating disorder.
You will be VERY proud of having built a healthy life, which gave you many quality years of enjoyment.
So do that.
More of that.
ALL of that.
I find it very difficult to support them, unless they are undertaken as a great way to build healthy habits, such as cooking more healthily, regularly exercising in a fun way, things that legitimately focus on HEALTH. And these do exist, usually within communities that are supportive and encouraging - if you find this, DO IT! It might change your life.
But such a healthy-habit focus is the rare exception, in my experience. These short-term efforts usually focus on appearance, because it's hard to measure changes in overall health in 6 weeks, or celebrate something as unsexy as 30 days of habit-building - but it's very easy to measure pounds & inches.
And that's what the consumer wants anyway.
So, the 30 days or 6 weeks are about the quick fix: drastic changes that can only ever be temporary...and you are then supposed to go back to your normal life, but svelter, and OBVIOUSLY happier.
The problem is, you may not be able to. You may think that the way you lived those six grueling weeks should be the way you live your everyday life. So you try to keep it up, but eventually you fail. Then you may give up on health & fitness altogether, or you may have simply completely fucked up your hormones, or developed an eating disorder. You most likely will regain the exact same weight you lost, maybe more.
It happened to me. I learned that those six weeks have great power to Fuck. You. Up.
This guy writes about his 6-pack #absperiment: http://greatist.com/fitness/six-pack-abs-six-weeks-one-year-later And what he learned, this right here, is absolutely PROFOUND, and yet you won't realize this until after you, too, have fucked yourself up:
You don’t need six-pack abs to be happy. And sometimes getting them can make you less happy than when you started.
YES. Except "sometimes" should be "99.99% of the time." And "less happy" should be "infinitely more miserable."
Honestly, I wish he had written more extensively about the impact on his mind, rather than keeping it short & sweet, because it's basically everything I've gone through since 2010. And I'm STILL not over it, nearly 6 years later.
Some days I get close, and much more frequently than before, but the evil voice, she always manages to get back in, and whisper her hateful chorus: "you're fat, you're getting fatter, eat less, try fasting again, go low carb, cycle carbs, you're gross, look at your belly, look at that cellulite, god, what are you doing, you're always going to be fat, you worthless piece of shit."
And this horrendously evil cunty internal voice wasn't in my head before the 6-week body-fat beatdown that made me equate my value with my appearance. Before, I was unhappy with my appearance, but it didn't define me. I felt strong and healthy and I was having fun with fitness, though I disliked my belly...and I wish to every imagined god that I had been content with that right there.
Because as I lost fat, I gained compliments left and right, and I loved them, soaked them up, put myself in a position to hear them again & again...and I began to believe that it was vital I be small & pretty, that it fucking MATTERED. So once I had fucked up my hormones, metabolism, whatever the science would call it, and gained weight despite giving all of my effort to undereating and overexercising, I became unworthy of compliments, I became unworthy of love, especially from my own damn self.
I am coming up on the 6-year anniversary of my 6 weeks, and the best way I could celebrate it would be to stop others, YOU, from doing this. I want you to learn from the mistakes of the rest of us. I do not want you, or anyone, to feel the way I felt...feel. Because it is no way to live your life. It's perfectly awful.
Sure, there's no guarantee this will happen to you. Some people spend 6 weeks on an annual or semi-annual basis targeting their body fat, and then go back to normal life, and don't spiral into long-term obsessions and eating disorders.
But...those people probably aren't scouring the internet for topics like this. They don't rush from link to link, trying to find the secret to the happy life a smaller body will give them, if they could just GET IT.
So, let me pull back from all that rambling about my messy life, that I can't tie up in a bow (some day, I hope), and simply beg you: use caution.
Short-term transformations aren't inherently bad, but they are dangerous territory.
Why not craft your own challenge instead?
Seek sustainable life changes during the next month. Add a healthy habit like replacing soda with water, toaster pastries with eggs, or takeout pizza with homemade. Instead of watching that crappy TV show every Wednesday night, join your SO for a walk through the neighborhood. Instead of sitting on the bleachers during your son's soccer game, make laps around the track.
Skip the beat-you-to-a-pulp cardio-based fitness classes that leave you feeling like a fat heaving cow compared to the tiny perky instructor, and invest in a good personal trainer who can teach you how to lift. Join a softball league and quit your dart league.
Do a Whole30, not for weight loss (ever), but to learn exactly how your body responds to different foods (and then make a planned, careful, slow reintroduction phase, not a simple return to "before").
Or, focus on the mental, and spend 6 weeks working on loving your body for what it is, what it has done, what it can do. Because it's damned amazing, no matter what it looks like.
Little things like this are unsexy, but oh, my friend, the changes you will experience will be lifelong, and so much more beneficial than shaming yourself into pursuing a tinier version of you. You are capable of so much more than looking pretty & thin. You are not an ornament.
When you're 90, and looking back on your life...what will you be most proud of?
It won't be losing 10 pounds in a month, and it definitely won't be giving yourself an eating disorder.
You will be VERY proud of having built a healthy life, which gave you many quality years of enjoyment.
So do that.
More of that.
ALL of that.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
What Happens When You Fail?
A topic with which I am intimately familiar: avoiding failure.
As an adult, I've learned the hard way that if you never risk failure, then when you DO fail (and you will, because you do not control the world, sorry), you will have abso-fucking-lutely no idea how to handle it. I've been there. I have failed as an adult, received outcomes I couldn't control despite my perfect inputs, and I didn't manage those failures well at all. They took giant tolls on my brain, and years to recover. (Assuming, of course, I do recover...work in process.)
And I think I could have better learned to handle failure if I had EVER attempted things at which I could fail as a child, when the risks/rewards/payoffs were all quite low. I desperately want to tell parents: STOP protecting your children from failure. Let them fail. In fact, MAKE SURE they fail. Then teach them how to handle failures with grace, learn from them, detach their identity from the outcome, and move on.
Sports seem like a great way to achieve those lessons: their team(s) will never have a perfect record, so there will be utter defeats, crushing disappointments, last-place finishes despite their best efforts...all of which will help you to teach them the only thing that matters, the last part: they gave their best efforts. The effort given is worth celebrating and reinforcing, despite the outcome. If they failed, but gave their best effort, they are not failures.
If you fail, but give your best effort, you are not a failure.
If you fail, you are not a failure.
You are not a failure.
Give your best effort, and celebrate it.
I tend to bail when things get hard, unfamiliar, mentally challenging. I like to stick with what I know, what I’m comfortable with, where my skills lie. Because, you see, I simply do not fail at things. Really, I don’t. I never have. School, my business career, starting our own venture, my personal development challenges… I do not fail. And to be certain of that, I have learned simply to avoid things at which I have a chance of failure. It’s a brilliant, fool-proof system. I take on things I know I can do well, and skip over everything I’m not sure about. My track record is spotless, of course. (I did say it was a brilliant system.)Read more from Melissa: http://whole9life.com/2011/05/thats-not-what-ships-are-for/
As an adult, I've learned the hard way that if you never risk failure, then when you DO fail (and you will, because you do not control the world, sorry), you will have abso-fucking-lutely no idea how to handle it. I've been there. I have failed as an adult, received outcomes I couldn't control despite my perfect inputs, and I didn't manage those failures well at all. They took giant tolls on my brain, and years to recover. (Assuming, of course, I do recover...work in process.)
And I think I could have better learned to handle failure if I had EVER attempted things at which I could fail as a child, when the risks/rewards/payoffs were all quite low. I desperately want to tell parents: STOP protecting your children from failure. Let them fail. In fact, MAKE SURE they fail. Then teach them how to handle failures with grace, learn from them, detach their identity from the outcome, and move on.
Sports seem like a great way to achieve those lessons: their team(s) will never have a perfect record, so there will be utter defeats, crushing disappointments, last-place finishes despite their best efforts...all of which will help you to teach them the only thing that matters, the last part: they gave their best efforts. The effort given is worth celebrating and reinforcing, despite the outcome. If they failed, but gave their best effort, they are not failures.
If you fail, but give your best effort, you are not a failure.
If you fail, you are not a failure.
You are not a failure.
Give your best effort, and celebrate it.
What's the worst that could happen if you faced your fear?
Well, the best thing that could happen is that you could conquer your fear. You could accomplish what you thought you couldn't accomplish. You could become wildly happy and successful.
And you could like it.
Imagine how good you would feel to be free of burden. To feel strong and capable.
Now, is your answer to the first question going to keep you from all that?
-Stephen Covey
Sunday, January 10, 2016
A Little Fat Is Fine
I'm so, so, so WITH HER on this. It's where I've been for a while now, and it's so much easier/better/happier.
Read it all: http://askgeorgie.com/why-im-ok-with-getting-fatter-in-2016/
Look, I don't need to know a thing about you, to know this with certainty: your appearance is not the first thing that people think of, when they think about you.
I'd bet my back-squat-built ass that it's not.
And I can tell you what is: your kindness, your generosity, your listening skills, your intelligence, your "zOMG I haven't seen you in forever"-feeling hugs, your intense gaze, your loud laughter, your playful nature, your pet-whisperer skills, your delight in simple things, your love of baking, your debating skills, your perfect pot of coffee...all of that, and more.
These are the many important ways you create a lasting, loving impact on your people. Not with flat abs, non-jiggly arms, or cellulite-free thighs.
I agree in full with her highlight on this sentence:
http://askgeorgie.com/why-im-ok-with-getting-fatter-in-2016/
--
Side note: I haven't read her book, and I really want to put a shirt on her on that cover (because that's a pretty unrealistic target for most of us, and what's the point of those perfect abs, again?) BUT healthy habits are where it's at, and the things I HAVE read in her blog all jive with me. So, at least start there.
In 2016, I’m committed to using my mental and physical capacity to spread love, create joy, enrich my life and the lives of the people I encounter, and stop myself when my effort seeps into pursuing leanness for leanness sake. Because there is no additional benefit from being leaner than the optimal level for health.(she highlighted the above...I'd highlight the below)
And the effort that it can absorb could be used elsewhere for things that actually matter.
Read it all: http://askgeorgie.com/why-im-ok-with-getting-fatter-in-2016/
Look, I don't need to know a thing about you, to know this with certainty: your appearance is not the first thing that people think of, when they think about you.
I'd bet my back-squat-built ass that it's not.
And I can tell you what is: your kindness, your generosity, your listening skills, your intelligence, your "zOMG I haven't seen you in forever"-feeling hugs, your intense gaze, your loud laughter, your playful nature, your pet-whisperer skills, your delight in simple things, your love of baking, your debating skills, your perfect pot of coffee...all of that, and more.
These are the many important ways you create a lasting, loving impact on your people. Not with flat abs, non-jiggly arms, or cellulite-free thighs.
I agree in full with her highlight on this sentence:
I dare to think my life might be more “Wow” if I stopped working so hard on making sure my body was.
http://askgeorgie.com/why-im-ok-with-getting-fatter-in-2016/
--
Side note: I haven't read her book, and I really want to put a shirt on her on that cover (because that's a pretty unrealistic target for most of us, and what's the point of those perfect abs, again?) BUT healthy habits are where it's at, and the things I HAVE read in her blog all jive with me. So, at least start there.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Word To Your Mother
In 2015, I themed my year with one word. The word was THRIVE.
It worked.
I didn't THRIVE every single day (I didn't completely change, yo), but I paid attention to the things I need to truly THRIVE, rather than simply survive. I found them. And I chased them hard, I made them happen - but when it felt scary to chase them, reminding myself that I needed them to THRIVE was a firm slap to the voices of fear. "I need this to THRIVE so I will have it. Shut up, fear."
It worked.
I still plan to use it.
But now it's a new year, so I feel I need a new word. I've been debating it for a while, feeling as though it should be one of my CDFs (generous, radiant, inspiring, thriving), but none of them felt right, and I finally realized it is because of the things I see coming at me this year that are leaving me scared.
When I changed my thinking to that perspective, the word BRAVE came to mind and immediately felt right. With the scary things looming (not big-scary, just growth/change-scary), I hope focusing on this word will help me unearth the deeply hidden well of bravery that I normally can't find. I'm full of self-doubt, I fucking runneth over with it, and I often have to tell myself to "act as if" to get the scary things done. I like the idea of using BRAVE more than the "act as if" line, which subtly underlines the imposter syndrome; I am only "pretending" I am BRAVE. I want & need the sharper reminder to step up, be BRAVE, go ahead & shine, or go ahead & disappoint, whatever. For as long as I am BRAVE enough to speak the truth inside, I am winning at life.
Thriving, you might say.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Why all the effort?
A few weeks ago, I had long, curly hair, about to my waist. It was gorgeous, a beautiful spiraling waterfall of the family curls.
But as a runner encountering summer, I began to think about how HOT & annoying it was. I realized how often it was a pain, and when I began looking back at old pictures, I became ready to go short again. Short wouldn't be a gorgeous waterfall of curls, but it would still be cute enough (I wouldn't look odd), and it would be EASIER.
I spent a full week stopping myself every time I thought about my hair, and asking how short hair would change this problem/situation/thought, until I was still 100% certain I wanted to chop it.
Within 24 hours of my cut, I had thought to myself at least 24 times: I can't believe I waited so long!
I was astounded at how much work & annoyance my long hair had become, in so many tiny ways:
After the cut, I had a couple people ask me what my husband thought of my new hair, and my answer was essentially, "Don't know, don't care. It's not his hair." (With varying levels of accompanying expletives based on the asker.)
I've not asked him. I don't care about his opinion, I care about MINE. He wasn't the one dealing with the annoyances above, so why would he get a say in whether or not I should keep it that way? Whether my hair is long or short or gone, he loves me, and I know this. I know this because that's how I feel about him. I don't tell him to shave his head, or to have a goatee. As long as he looks reasonably presentable to society, I'm cool with his appearance. And vice versa.
And the same is true for everyone I love, and everyone who loves me. Their opinions are unimportant. I might think my friend Becky looks amazing with her hair down, but if she loves the daily ponytail that gets it out of her face, well, what the hell does my opinion matter? It doesn't. And her preference for my long curly waterfall doesn't even slightly impact my preference for short & easy.
Reflecting on allathat got me wondering...how much else am I holding onto, just because I think I should?
What else are ALL OF US doing, that we don't truly enjoy doing, but don't yet feel brave or confident enough to stop doing?
I can think of many other cuts from my life recently. All of these are small moves, with fabulous results:
Clothing choices, grooming choices, workout choices, friend choices, food choices, activity choices, job choices, housing choices...so many possible annoyances we've built into our lives, without even thinking about it, without ACTIVELY CHOOSING them, but merely going along with society's norms.
Decide to live a FUCK YES kind of life. Decide to cut out everything that isn't FUCK YES.
What is weighing you down because it's actually someone else's choice that you're doing it, be it society or significant others or parents or peers or boss?
Can you make your OWN decision instead?
What will that bravery cost you?
Oh, but my friend, what will it GAIN you?
--
A side note, I wrote this many months ago, left it in draft stage, because it felt like there was much more clarity I could bring if I took the time to polish it up. Well, 6 months later, here it still sits. I've got lots of these half-baked ideas in draft stage, and I'm throwing them out to sink or swim without much further assistance. You want to write and get better at it, then damn it, you write, and you share it, and you write some more. It's a blog, for fuck's sake. Do I want to share worthwhile thoughts, and possibly help people, or don't I? There is not much point to write things and keep them hidden, nor to wait for perfection. Fuck perfection.
I'm saying it again, just to make sure you saw it: fuck perfection.
It's time to help.
But as a runner encountering summer, I began to think about how HOT & annoying it was. I realized how often it was a pain, and when I began looking back at old pictures, I became ready to go short again. Short wouldn't be a gorgeous waterfall of curls, but it would still be cute enough (I wouldn't look odd), and it would be EASIER.
I spent a full week stopping myself every time I thought about my hair, and asking how short hair would change this problem/situation/thought, until I was still 100% certain I wanted to chop it.
Within 24 hours of my cut, I had thought to myself at least 24 times: I can't believe I waited so long!
I was astounded at how much work & annoyance my long hair had become, in so many tiny ways:
- Gobs of product to have it look good (about 4x what I use now).
- Stupidly-long showers spent working the conditioner through and pulling out the knots.
- Going to bed with hair that felt like cold, wet, gross seaweed, hating for it to touch my back before I was in bed & it could lay on my pillow behind me (like cold, wet, gross seaweed).
- Styling options limited by the day's workout (can't bench with an updo, yo).
- Playing with it while thinking, like I was 12.
- HOT.
- Holding it down in the wind, lest it become a frizzy frazzled mess.
- on and on
After the cut, I had a couple people ask me what my husband thought of my new hair, and my answer was essentially, "Don't know, don't care. It's not his hair." (With varying levels of accompanying expletives based on the asker.)
I've not asked him. I don't care about his opinion, I care about MINE. He wasn't the one dealing with the annoyances above, so why would he get a say in whether or not I should keep it that way? Whether my hair is long or short or gone, he loves me, and I know this. I know this because that's how I feel about him. I don't tell him to shave his head, or to have a goatee. As long as he looks reasonably presentable to society, I'm cool with his appearance. And vice versa.
And the same is true for everyone I love, and everyone who loves me. Their opinions are unimportant. I might think my friend Becky looks amazing with her hair down, but if she loves the daily ponytail that gets it out of her face, well, what the hell does my opinion matter? It doesn't. And her preference for my long curly waterfall doesn't even slightly impact my preference for short & easy.
Reflecting on allathat got me wondering...how much else am I holding onto, just because I think I should?
What else are ALL OF US doing, that we don't truly enjoy doing, but don't yet feel brave or confident enough to stop doing?
I can think of many other cuts from my life recently. All of these are small moves, with fabulous results:
- no more nail polish: haven't missed it for a second
- no more eyeshadow or eyeliner: sure, I look better with it, but I also look fine without it - and I don't miss it
- Twitter & Instagram & Pinterest & all the rest besides FB & DM: I don't feel I'm missing out
- TV: haven't watched it in months
- email newsletter subscriptions: if I'm just deleting them without reading, or stacking them up in my "to read" folder (which I never get to), then I just unsubscribe
- news: I don't bother, because mostly negative (if there's an important story, I'll hear about it somehow - but I don't need most of it)
- Facebook friends
- who only post complaints: if I don't want to blatantly unfriend them, I hide their posts
- who often share annoying shit but are otherwise cool: I hide the sources of their shared political posts & recipes & whatever
- who I wouldn't ever stop to talk to in the grocery store: unfriend
- pages I've liked that post multiple times per day, every day, or only share links that I never click on, or are constantly outraged & up in arms (even if it's a cause I agree with): unfollow
- who share clickbait bullshit ("you won't believe #8!"): never click, EVER, and hide them
Clothing choices, grooming choices, workout choices, friend choices, food choices, activity choices, job choices, housing choices...so many possible annoyances we've built into our lives, without even thinking about it, without ACTIVELY CHOOSING them, but merely going along with society's norms.
Decide to live a FUCK YES kind of life. Decide to cut out everything that isn't FUCK YES.
What is weighing you down because it's actually someone else's choice that you're doing it, be it society or significant others or parents or peers or boss?
Can you make your OWN decision instead?
What will that bravery cost you?
Oh, but my friend, what will it GAIN you?
--
A side note, I wrote this many months ago, left it in draft stage, because it felt like there was much more clarity I could bring if I took the time to polish it up. Well, 6 months later, here it still sits. I've got lots of these half-baked ideas in draft stage, and I'm throwing them out to sink or swim without much further assistance. You want to write and get better at it, then damn it, you write, and you share it, and you write some more. It's a blog, for fuck's sake. Do I want to share worthwhile thoughts, and possibly help people, or don't I? There is not much point to write things and keep them hidden, nor to wait for perfection. Fuck perfection.
I'm saying it again, just to make sure you saw it: fuck perfection.
It's time to help.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Chase Your Dream Job
Where are you in this bubble?
I love accounting & spreadsheeting & bookkeeping and all the usual office-y things (truly, I love them!), and I'm good at it. BONUS: the world needs it, and will pay for it.
So, bliss found: just go do accounting, right?
Almost. I've been doing accounting for the past 16 years, and I've come to an additional realization: WHERE I do it, WHO my time is benefitting, also matters to me. Hugely. The only thing in this world that I have complete & total control over is what I do with my time.
I simply cannot spend my time, my one most precious & completely priceless commodity, at a business that I don't care about. Now, I used to care about the company I just left (after 9.5 years), but it changed; I still cared about the people, but not about its mission & goals. I don't think the world needs the product they are selling. I no longer enjoyed my daily work because of the unreasonable demands on my time. I've been hanging out in the "career" & "satisfaction" crossover of the bubbles for the past year or two. But I simply didn't feel fulfilled giving my time to a company that didn't share my personal values. And when I realized that was my problem, it became clear that exiting was my only option.
I DO think the world needs the service my dream employer (NSS) is selling. I LOVE the place like it's my second home, and the trainers there are part of my carefully-curated tribe. NSS changed my life for the better in every possible way, and so if I can give them my time to help them change MORE lives, then I will. I must. It's my bliss!
However, I'm having to do a little compromising to get there. They can't take me full-time, can't quite justify the expense of a salary for me five days per week. But we settled on three days, and I can make that work by spending two days a week at an accounting firm. So, I'm now out of my unwanted corporate job, and at my dream job three days per week, & my almost-dream-job two days per week. Wow! Am I ever lucky!
Wrong.
It's not luck, not one little bit of it. None. Let me tell you the story of how I've arrived at this "perfect job" scenario:
Thirteen years ago (13!), I picked up a part-time job at DBB, an accounting firm in my hometown. The work was different from my usual bookkeeping, and the coworkers were super-duper-uper nice, so it was actually quite fun to do. Putting in about 15 hours a week doing taxes helped me save up a nice chunk of change. Even after changing my FT job to 30 miles away, and moving 10 miles toward that job, I continued to work tax seasons, driving past my own home to work a second job a few nights a week, and ALLLLL DAY Saturday. It got long, but since it was winter, I wasn't really missing much besides laziness at home on the couch. With a promotion at my FT job, and the distance, I scaled back to Saturdays only, still unwilling to give up the easy money, or disappoint a business that relied on my expertise & expressed their appreciation for me every single day that I worked there. Some years, such as the three years I also trained for a spring marathon during that same timeframe, it was beyond stressful. I chipped away at my sanity to fulfill that job. But it always felt worth it, because the place adored me. I skipped ONE tax season, to train for Boston for the third straight year, but I unhesitatingly went back the very next year (and quit with the spring marathon nonsense).
So, I am now at that job two days per week, plus Saturdays during tax season. I'm excited that I'll be able to help them out more, and I'm excited about the kind of work I'll get to do, because it's my favorite of their workload.
I eased my way into NSS over the past 6 years that I've been training there. I started by making them some Excel templates, enthusiastically helped whenever they had questions in my area of expertise, made sure they knew my skills/love of spreadsheets/financial nerdery, and within a couple of years, they asked me to take over some of the bookkeeping to free them up to do what THEY do best. Because I love the place & what it has done for me, and want to help them do it for others, being there full-time would be my ultimate dream job, and I told them that, often. I made it a top priority in my life to be just as invaluable to them as I could be, trusting that eventually they'd grow big enough to need me more. I gradually did more & more things for them (things they didn't even know they needed, sometimes!), made myself helpful in assorted areas, and worked late on Fridays, on weekends, on holidays, whatever was necessary to get the weekly work in - until finally this winter it became pretty clear to all of us that one afternoon per week was no longer enough time for me to get everything done. I offered up this half-time gig idea, and told them what I would need to make (a pay cut for, but higher than they were anticipating, I'm positive) - and they agreed to absolutely everything.
Just like that, I am at that job three days per week, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. They know I want to be there full time, and I am confident they will soon be feeling just as adamant that I need to be there every day - so all we need is the growth to justify it and the P&L to support it. I. Can. Not. Freaking. Wait.
So anyway, all of that babbling is to show that I've worked my ass off to put those two jobs at the top of my priority list, always. Hence, the "luck" that I've landed this dream-job-combo? It's not luck at all. It's pure hard work, determination, the internal drive to be added value to them, an asset they need. I've sacrificed my free/fun time, I've sacrificed my sanity at times, but they have been entirely worth it.
Just like pretty much every success story out there, I worked my ass off, and when the time was right, the opportunity was there to accept the payoff of all those invested years. I've taken a pay cut and lost all kinds of generous big-company benefits to work this combo, but I've dumped a thousand truckloads of stress out of my life, I am working at places aligned with my very core, I've gained my very life back, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier.
And, my dear sweet soul, there is not a single solitary unique thing in my long-winded story. You can write your own history of how you landed at your dream job, too. You can. You must. I promise you: it is worth the sacrifices you will make for it it happen. Because the sacrifices you make to work a job you hate are not, and never will be, worth it.
So, what is your dream job? What's your ultimate, perfect, ideal, fulfilling gig to pay for the rest of your life? Where can you find your bliss?
What will you do with your time, your single most precious, priceless commodity?
What steps can you take NOW to move you toward that life?
How can you work your ass off to achieve it?
Your bliss awaits.
Run toward it with open arms.
I love accounting & spreadsheeting & bookkeeping and all the usual office-y things (truly, I love them!), and I'm good at it. BONUS: the world needs it, and will pay for it.
So, bliss found: just go do accounting, right?
Almost. I've been doing accounting for the past 16 years, and I've come to an additional realization: WHERE I do it, WHO my time is benefitting, also matters to me. Hugely. The only thing in this world that I have complete & total control over is what I do with my time.
I simply cannot spend my time, my one most precious & completely priceless commodity, at a business that I don't care about. Now, I used to care about the company I just left (after 9.5 years), but it changed; I still cared about the people, but not about its mission & goals. I don't think the world needs the product they are selling. I no longer enjoyed my daily work because of the unreasonable demands on my time. I've been hanging out in the "career" & "satisfaction" crossover of the bubbles for the past year or two. But I simply didn't feel fulfilled giving my time to a company that didn't share my personal values. And when I realized that was my problem, it became clear that exiting was my only option.
I DO think the world needs the service my dream employer (NSS) is selling. I LOVE the place like it's my second home, and the trainers there are part of my carefully-curated tribe. NSS changed my life for the better in every possible way, and so if I can give them my time to help them change MORE lives, then I will. I must. It's my bliss!
However, I'm having to do a little compromising to get there. They can't take me full-time, can't quite justify the expense of a salary for me five days per week. But we settled on three days, and I can make that work by spending two days a week at an accounting firm. So, I'm now out of my unwanted corporate job, and at my dream job three days per week, & my almost-dream-job two days per week. Wow! Am I ever lucky!
Wrong.
It's not luck, not one little bit of it. None. Let me tell you the story of how I've arrived at this "perfect job" scenario:
Thirteen years ago (13!), I picked up a part-time job at DBB, an accounting firm in my hometown. The work was different from my usual bookkeeping, and the coworkers were super-duper-uper nice, so it was actually quite fun to do. Putting in about 15 hours a week doing taxes helped me save up a nice chunk of change. Even after changing my FT job to 30 miles away, and moving 10 miles toward that job, I continued to work tax seasons, driving past my own home to work a second job a few nights a week, and ALLLLL DAY Saturday. It got long, but since it was winter, I wasn't really missing much besides laziness at home on the couch. With a promotion at my FT job, and the distance, I scaled back to Saturdays only, still unwilling to give up the easy money, or disappoint a business that relied on my expertise & expressed their appreciation for me every single day that I worked there. Some years, such as the three years I also trained for a spring marathon during that same timeframe, it was beyond stressful. I chipped away at my sanity to fulfill that job. But it always felt worth it, because the place adored me. I skipped ONE tax season, to train for Boston for the third straight year, but I unhesitatingly went back the very next year (and quit with the spring marathon nonsense).
So, I am now at that job two days per week, plus Saturdays during tax season. I'm excited that I'll be able to help them out more, and I'm excited about the kind of work I'll get to do, because it's my favorite of their workload.
I eased my way into NSS over the past 6 years that I've been training there. I started by making them some Excel templates, enthusiastically helped whenever they had questions in my area of expertise, made sure they knew my skills/love of spreadsheets/financial nerdery, and within a couple of years, they asked me to take over some of the bookkeeping to free them up to do what THEY do best. Because I love the place & what it has done for me, and want to help them do it for others, being there full-time would be my ultimate dream job, and I told them that, often. I made it a top priority in my life to be just as invaluable to them as I could be, trusting that eventually they'd grow big enough to need me more. I gradually did more & more things for them (things they didn't even know they needed, sometimes!), made myself helpful in assorted areas, and worked late on Fridays, on weekends, on holidays, whatever was necessary to get the weekly work in - until finally this winter it became pretty clear to all of us that one afternoon per week was no longer enough time for me to get everything done. I offered up this half-time gig idea, and told them what I would need to make (a pay cut for, but higher than they were anticipating, I'm positive) - and they agreed to absolutely everything.
Just like that, I am at that job three days per week, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. They know I want to be there full time, and I am confident they will soon be feeling just as adamant that I need to be there every day - so all we need is the growth to justify it and the P&L to support it. I. Can. Not. Freaking. Wait.
So anyway, all of that babbling is to show that I've worked my ass off to put those two jobs at the top of my priority list, always. Hence, the "luck" that I've landed this dream-job-combo? It's not luck at all. It's pure hard work, determination, the internal drive to be added value to them, an asset they need. I've sacrificed my free/fun time, I've sacrificed my sanity at times, but they have been entirely worth it.
Just like pretty much every success story out there, I worked my ass off, and when the time was right, the opportunity was there to accept the payoff of all those invested years. I've taken a pay cut and lost all kinds of generous big-company benefits to work this combo, but I've dumped a thousand truckloads of stress out of my life, I am working at places aligned with my very core, I've gained my very life back, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier.
And, my dear sweet soul, there is not a single solitary unique thing in my long-winded story. You can write your own history of how you landed at your dream job, too. You can. You must. I promise you: it is worth the sacrifices you will make for it it happen. Because the sacrifices you make to work a job you hate are not, and never will be, worth it.
So, what is your dream job? What's your ultimate, perfect, ideal, fulfilling gig to pay for the rest of your life? Where can you find your bliss?
What will you do with your time, your single most precious, priceless commodity?
What steps can you take NOW to move you toward that life?
How can you work your ass off to achieve it?
Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
-Thomas Alva Edison
Your bliss awaits.
Run toward it with open arms.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Stop Binges Before They Begin
First things first: everything Stefani writes is awesome; please bookmark, subscribe, etc, because she's pretty much a genius.
This post is a fantastic starting point for anyone who's stuck in the binge/restrict/repeat pattern. It's not a new post, but it was new to me, and every single line of it reads true to my own experience with the binge/restrict (and over-exercise) pattern.
When I was in that pattern, my answer to "how to stop binges before they begin" would've been something like "don't have binge-worthy food in the house" but that is so, so, so wrong. You can binge on anything, from cookies to breaksticks to chicken - and I've done it.
The answer isn't selective food, it's eating enough EVERY SINGLE DAY, so that you don't have the physical need to binge.
Wait, did you catch that?
Binges are not a failing of your mental willpower. They are a PHYSICAL NEED you have prompted by restricting your intake. It is your biological drive to live kicking in, and you can't avoid it, no matter how "tough" you are.
Go read Stefani's post to understand it:
Binge/Restrict:The Most Common Pattern of Overeating, and How to Stop (with Love!)
Here's a brief synopsis of my own history: I was trying to eat 1600-1800 calories per day, but averaging 2200-2400 with weekend binges; or I would fast a day or two, and eat more the other days, aiming to average 1800 overall, but again failing that and bingeing on pretty much anything once I hit complete & utter exhaustion.
Post-binge, cue: hating myself, and repeating, and hating, and repeating. For at least a year.
I. Was. Fucking. Miserable.
And I blamed myself, for not having enough willpower, for being dumb enough to try making a Paleo treat and thinking I could moderate intake, for not being able to fast, for ME SUCKING. And I knew it wasn't working, but I didn't know what else to do, because not restricting would obviously lead to massive weight gain. So, continue trying & failing.
I finally gave up, mostly out of sheer exhaustion, but also after reading things written by people like Stefani or Amber. Following their advice, I put my trust in my body, not even caring anymore if I gained weight, just knowing I absolutely could not sustain this life of misery any longer.
When I stopped restricting, something wild and crazy (that's sarcasm) happened: I landed at an average intake of 2200-2400 daily ANYWAY, but without the binges that made me hate myself. Instead, each day I was well-nourished for my exercise, which fueled positive feelings via runner's high and lifter's badassery, and I became a MUCH happier person.
I didn't balloon up into a fat cow, either! I looked exactly the same, because my intake was, on average, exactly the same; but I didn't have to beat myself into exhaustion & hatred along the way.
Truly, it was that simple.
It was a process, it wasn't always easy, but it was a bajillion times easier (& healthier) than the restrict/binge cycle had been.
So please, if you're stuck in this cycle, I implore you to try this route instead: focus on making sure you are eating enough, instead of focusing on how little you can get away with.
What have you got to lose, besides the hatred?
This post is a fantastic starting point for anyone who's stuck in the binge/restrict/repeat pattern. It's not a new post, but it was new to me, and every single line of it reads true to my own experience with the binge/restrict (and over-exercise) pattern.
When I was in that pattern, my answer to "how to stop binges before they begin" would've been something like "don't have binge-worthy food in the house" but that is so, so, so wrong. You can binge on anything, from cookies to breaksticks to chicken - and I've done it.
The answer isn't selective food, it's eating enough EVERY SINGLE DAY, so that you don't have the physical need to binge.
Wait, did you catch that?
Binges are not a failing of your mental willpower. They are a PHYSICAL NEED you have prompted by restricting your intake. It is your biological drive to live kicking in, and you can't avoid it, no matter how "tough" you are.
Go read Stefani's post to understand it:
Binge/Restrict:The Most Common Pattern of Overeating, and How to Stop (with Love!)
...
Many women who binge and restrict would like to stop bingeing before they stop restricting. They think that they will lose whatever progress they have achieved, in terms of caloric deficits, if they stop restricting first. They anticipate continuing to over-eat, even while they are not restricting. This is an understandable fear — and trust me when I say that I understand how powerful fear can be as a human being in this precarious state. However: this is impossible. Deliberate restriction necessarily begets bingeing behavior. Necessarily. Restriction must be phased out of our lives before we can stop over-eating. Willpower does not do the trick. Hard-lined restriction does not win. Love does.
http://paleoforwomen.com/the-most-common-pattern-of-overeating-and-how-to-stop/
...
Post-binge, cue: hating myself, and repeating, and hating, and repeating. For at least a year.
I. Was. Fucking. Miserable.
And I blamed myself, for not having enough willpower, for being dumb enough to try making a Paleo treat and thinking I could moderate intake, for not being able to fast, for ME SUCKING. And I knew it wasn't working, but I didn't know what else to do, because not restricting would obviously lead to massive weight gain. So, continue trying & failing.
I finally gave up, mostly out of sheer exhaustion, but also after reading things written by people like Stefani or Amber. Following their advice, I put my trust in my body, not even caring anymore if I gained weight, just knowing I absolutely could not sustain this life of misery any longer.
When I stopped restricting, something wild and crazy (that's sarcasm) happened: I landed at an average intake of 2200-2400 daily ANYWAY, but without the binges that made me hate myself. Instead, each day I was well-nourished for my exercise, which fueled positive feelings via runner's high and lifter's badassery, and I became a MUCH happier person.
I didn't balloon up into a fat cow, either! I looked exactly the same, because my intake was, on average, exactly the same; but I didn't have to beat myself into exhaustion & hatred along the way.
Truly, it was that simple.
It was a process, it wasn't always easy, but it was a bajillion times easier (& healthier) than the restrict/binge cycle had been.
So please, if you're stuck in this cycle, I implore you to try this route instead: focus on making sure you are eating enough, instead of focusing on how little you can get away with.
What have you got to lose, besides the hatred?
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The Overkill Cult
Holy wow, did this ever hit close to home for me:
http://lengstorf.com/overkill-cult/
I hope you don't see yourself described in perfect detail, as I did.
If you do...let's both change. I've already given notice at my soul-sucking corporate job (okay, it's not that bad, but it's on the fast-track to it), and soon I will trade it out for two half-time jobs that I already do & love.
I'm losing pay, benefits, and the prestige of leadership at a large (for my area) employer. And I don't care.
Because I'm gaining my sanity.
There will still be >40-hour weeks with these jobs; one of them means 15 straight loooong weeks during tax season. But I've already been doing that - and then it ends. The other job may require some longer days, or some later nights, sometimes weekend events. But they are temporary, and done for good, specific reasons; not indefinitely and because there is far too much work for far too few brains but no plan to change that problem, like my current employer.
Work is not your life. Your LIFE is your life, and work is meant to provide you with means to live the life you want. Make sure yours is doing that. If it's providing you means that you don't even have time to spend, then seriously, really, truly: you're doing it wrong. And if you have more time than money, consider that you might be the successful one.
You can always make more money.
You can never make more time.
The Overkill Cult is a cultural delusion that working 60+ hour weeks at the expense of everything else in our lives is not only a necessary part of success, but that doing so is somehow honorable.
The insidious thing about the Overkill Cult is that it masquerades as all the things we like most about ourselves: dedication, ambition, follow-through, responsibility.
It tells us to push harder, stay later, sleep when we’re dead. It tells us we’re never going to get ahead if we don’t show up first and go home last.
Cleverly, wickedly, the Overkill Cult persuades us to hang ourselves with our own strengths.
And if we don’t break free, we’re all going to die.
http://lengstorf.com/overkill-cult/
I hope you don't see yourself described in perfect detail, as I did.
If you do...let's both change. I've already given notice at my soul-sucking corporate job (okay, it's not that bad, but it's on the fast-track to it), and soon I will trade it out for two half-time jobs that I already do & love.
I'm losing pay, benefits, and the prestige of leadership at a large (for my area) employer. And I don't care.
Because I'm gaining my sanity.
There will still be >40-hour weeks with these jobs; one of them means 15 straight loooong weeks during tax season. But I've already been doing that - and then it ends. The other job may require some longer days, or some later nights, sometimes weekend events. But they are temporary, and done for good, specific reasons; not indefinitely and because there is far too much work for far too few brains but no plan to change that problem, like my current employer.
Work is not your life. Your LIFE is your life, and work is meant to provide you with means to live the life you want. Make sure yours is doing that. If it's providing you means that you don't even have time to spend, then seriously, really, truly: you're doing it wrong. And if you have more time than money, consider that you might be the successful one.
You can always make more money.
You can never make more time.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Fear of Change
A Facebook post from Thomas Plummer, who drops daily knowledge bombs, and is worth your time to follow.
Absolutely, 100% true.
How many times were you afraid of doing something, maybe even outright terrified, yet did it anyway - and regretted it? Probably never.
How many times did you do this, and realize: "That wasn't so bad"? Probably every single damned time.
It's never as bad as you worry it will be, and it's never as HARD as you worry it will be. And if the end result is something you know that you want, why the hell would you let the fear of change stop you?
I've been in this boat recently regarding my job. I know what I want to do, and it's not what I'm doing now.
But making that change is scary, it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's vulnerable - and what if my dream job really isn't, and I'll wish I had just stayed where I am? Because where I am is okay, it pays the bills, it's fine, maybe I should just settle down & stay here.
That's the voice of fear. Fuck that voice! It's pointless to listen to that claptrap.
If it turns out this dream job isn't, then I'm back where I am now: at my formerly-dream-job that no longer fits me, and I'll find something that fits better. It won't be the end of the world that the voice of fear is constantly projecting.
Most importantly: "What if it works? Where will I be then?" I'll be at my freaking DREAM JOB, that's where I'll be! It would be stupid as hell to let the fear of change outweigh the possibility of landing my dream job.
I can't and won't let the fear of change stop me. I won't settle for that small life, and I don't want you to, either.
Go big. Be more. Punch your fears in the face, and run toward all the glorious possibilities on your horizon.
It isn't change that terrifies us; it is the fear of change that keeps us locked into the same old failing patterns in our lives. Often, the fear of change is such a powerful force that many would rather die than face the perceived demons and you can see this in every smoker or seriously overweight person. This person desperately wants change, but the perceived process of making this change is far scarier than to just keep on keeping on with the same old failing behavior. What the person is doing isn't working for him, but changing is far scarier than just dying slowly. This fear usually turns out to be the invisible monster under your child's bed that is imagination and dustballs and never the horrible reality we anticipate. The longer the mind dwells on the possibility of change, the faster it moves toward worse case scenario. If you are fearful of change in your life or business, focus on what might work rather than spend all your time anticipating the absolute worst case ever; that seldom ever happens except in your mind. Ask yourself this, "What if it works? Where will I be then?" Focus on the best case and let the silly monster stay under the bed with your old sweat socks where he belongs.
Absolutely, 100% true.
How many times were you afraid of doing something, maybe even outright terrified, yet did it anyway - and regretted it? Probably never.
How many times did you do this, and realize: "That wasn't so bad"? Probably every single damned time.
It's never as bad as you worry it will be, and it's never as HARD as you worry it will be. And if the end result is something you know that you want, why the hell would you let the fear of change stop you?
I've been in this boat recently regarding my job. I know what I want to do, and it's not what I'm doing now.
But making that change is scary, it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's vulnerable - and what if my dream job really isn't, and I'll wish I had just stayed where I am? Because where I am is okay, it pays the bills, it's fine, maybe I should just settle down & stay here.
That's the voice of fear. Fuck that voice! It's pointless to listen to that claptrap.
If it turns out this dream job isn't, then I'm back where I am now: at my formerly-dream-job that no longer fits me, and I'll find something that fits better. It won't be the end of the world that the voice of fear is constantly projecting.
Most importantly: "What if it works? Where will I be then?" I'll be at my freaking DREAM JOB, that's where I'll be! It would be stupid as hell to let the fear of change outweigh the possibility of landing my dream job.
I can't and won't let the fear of change stop me. I won't settle for that small life, and I don't want you to, either.
Go big. Be more. Punch your fears in the face, and run toward all the glorious possibilities on your horizon.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Green with envy?
4 Ways to Stop Feeling Jealous of Other Women
Remember high school? The social politics were ridiculous. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait to be an adult!
I knew that I would grow up, and all of that “popular kids” vs “nobodies” stuff would go away.
Somehow, though, “grown-up life” ended up feeling like more of the same. Except now the comparisons were of new homes, jobs and designer diaper bags!
The thing is, that as long as you are looking for it, you will always find someone who has something that seems better than what you have.
There is always a woman who just seems to have you beat in some way. She seems more successful. She seems to have her life together, is smarter, more charming. More whatever.A great post; go read the tips here: http://www.girlsgonestrong.com/4-ways-to-stop-feeling-jealous-of-other-women/
And then pop back to read my confession about exactly this topic.
I'm known to be a pull-up machine. Like, addicted to doing them, addicted to tracking them, addicted to helping others do them, addicted to talking about them. I'm planning to do a million pounds of pull-ups over the course of the year, and have a goal of a single-arm chin-up. Yesterday my trainer & another trainer made jokes about me lat-punching people. I'm all about the pull-ups.
At the end of 2014, I celebragged on Facebook about my 5280 pulls, and challenged others to a competition for 2015. I somehow had 7 takers on that challenge, and so I created a spreadsheet for us all to track, complete with a weighted component & graphs.
Game on, bitches, come watch me kick ass!
And then I started losing.
By "losing," of course, I only mean I'm not in first place. I'm bouncing around 3rd/4th. 1st place is solidly owned by a friend who's turned into a pull-up BEAST, consistently doing massive amounts of them. She's doing about 250 a week, versus my "mere" 200, so every week she pulls farther and farther away. As of yesterday, March 17, she's done 2660 and I've done 2160.
I've had days where this has frustrated me, and I've thought about when/how I could add more, to at least keep up. Because dammit, this is supposed to be MY THING. Yet I'm in a high-stress work season, where I can't add more, even more of something that's so easy for me. So maybe I'll add more when this ends, I'll have 8.5 months to catch up to her. And surely she'll have to dial back once HER high-stress work season kicks in. Yeah, we'll be close by year-end. And, I weigh 20 lbs more, so at the very least I should be able to win the weighted component.
No.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
You know what my plan calls for? 130 a week. Not the 200 I'm actually doing. Right now I should be at 1437, but I'm actually at 2160.
Hold up! Stop and reread that: I'm at 150% of my plan. And note that my plan is seriously ambitious: 6900 pulls over the course of the year, a MEELLION pounds of pull-ups, which is 130% compared to last year.
But I'm currently on track to pull up 1,500,000 pounds over the year, which is HALF A MILLION POUNDS MORE THAN MY GOAL. That's completely insane! Maintaining this pace means I'll do an impressive 200% of the pulls I did last year.
I'm doing a ton more than last year, a ton more than my plan, because of the competitive spirit, because 3 other badasses keep raising the bar on what's normal, week after week, because of this woman that was making me so damn jealous.
When I truly stopped to absorb this, I realized I should be thanking this badass beast, not feeling jealous of her. I should encourage her pull-ups every single chance I get, because she is pulling ME up along with her! I owe my success to HER success.
For me, this is no longer a competition to beat each other. This is a competition against gravity, against tendinitis, to see just how much crazy we can pack into that single spreadsheet without injury or burnout. I want us all to do insane numbers FOR OURSELVES, whatever those numbers may be, regardless of the rest.
There's a dude in our competition who has been battling a chronic disease, and surgery recovery, and so many issues, it's a wonder he can do any pull-ups. For all it matters, he can come in last place with the same number of pull-ups I can log in a month, and he still wins at kicking life's ass.
And it's also true for me, and for the beast out in front of the numbers.
As long as we are still kicking & pulling, we are all winning in our individual game of life.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Be MORE
Nia Shanks is one of my favorite bloggers. I love & agree with pretty much everything she writes. This post lays out almost every single big rock that matters, IMO:
It's fabulous, and I want you (everyone!) to read it and GET IT. I want everyone to know, believe, understand, BE everything on her list.
She presents 13 keys to being more, not less. If there is too much NEW to absorb at once, then pick just one to focus on & delve into a bit more. You can start with whichever one is most frustrating or important to you at this moment. Or perhaps you want to start on the small end, tackle something that you feel you can easily adjust in your mind, and make it a baby step toward the big scary fearful rocks.
Get clicky, get thinky, focus on improving your mindset in one area at a time. Or you could read everything she's ever written, all at once, with your brain screaming YES YES YES!! at every post.
The "be more" concept of this post speaks to my very soul. It is something I remind myself daily, sometimes hourly.
Think about the meek, timid, barely-speaks-above-a-whisper person that you want to pick up and shake sometimes, scream SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY FOR CHRISSAKE in their afraid-for-no-good-reason little face. All they want to do is hide from everyone because they are terrified to be themselves, to be seen, to be anything that anyone could ever be offended by. They don't just want to blend into the wallpaper, they want to BE the freaking wallpaper.
Do you love being around them? I sure don't (if that's not obvious).
Those people are massive energy vampires, constantly dragging you down into their pit of fear & worry, and we all need to avoid them like the infectious plague. Sometimes I find myself acting like that, and I hate it. When I recognize myself falling into that pit, I stop and remind myself to BE MORE. Who wants to live their life in that horrible, sad, SMALL place? Not this she-hulk.
Now, think about the loud, obnoxious people you know: the ones that grate on you when it's 7am and you're underslept and WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD FOR CHRISSAKE, can't they just shut up for once?
But don't you freaking LOVE being around them when you are your normal rested self (perhaps after more coffee)? Doesn't their bright, loud energy just overflow like a river, directly into you, infect you, make you silly, make you loud, make you downright obnoxious, too? And when you feel that giddy, don't you completely not care if others think you should shut up? And isn't it amazingly freeing to stop caring what others think?
Isn't it FAR MORE FUN to be your own true genuine self?!
I sure think so. So come on over, and be infectiously obnoxious with me. We'll have a grand old time! Be yourself, loudly and proudly, without shrinking, without fear, and we shall do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING we want to do.
THRIVE along with me, my friend!
http://www.niashanks.com/be-more-not-less/
It's fabulous, and I want you (everyone!) to read it and GET IT. I want everyone to know, believe, understand, BE everything on her list.
She presents 13 keys to being more, not less. If there is too much NEW to absorb at once, then pick just one to focus on & delve into a bit more. You can start with whichever one is most frustrating or important to you at this moment. Or perhaps you want to start on the small end, tackle something that you feel you can easily adjust in your mind, and make it a baby step toward the big scary fearful rocks.
Get clicky, get thinky, focus on improving your mindset in one area at a time. Or you could read everything she's ever written, all at once, with your brain screaming YES YES YES!! at every post.
The "be more" concept of this post speaks to my very soul. It is something I remind myself daily, sometimes hourly.
Think about the meek, timid, barely-speaks-above-a-whisper person that you want to pick up and shake sometimes, scream SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY FOR CHRISSAKE in their afraid-for-no-good-reason little face. All they want to do is hide from everyone because they are terrified to be themselves, to be seen, to be anything that anyone could ever be offended by. They don't just want to blend into the wallpaper, they want to BE the freaking wallpaper.
Do you love being around them? I sure don't (if that's not obvious).
Those people are massive energy vampires, constantly dragging you down into their pit of fear & worry, and we all need to avoid them like the infectious plague. Sometimes I find myself acting like that, and I hate it. When I recognize myself falling into that pit, I stop and remind myself to BE MORE. Who wants to live their life in that horrible, sad, SMALL place? Not this she-hulk.
Now, think about the loud, obnoxious people you know: the ones that grate on you when it's 7am and you're underslept and WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD FOR CHRISSAKE, can't they just shut up for once?
But don't you freaking LOVE being around them when you are your normal rested self (perhaps after more coffee)? Doesn't their bright, loud energy just overflow like a river, directly into you, infect you, make you silly, make you loud, make you downright obnoxious, too? And when you feel that giddy, don't you completely not care if others think you should shut up? And isn't it amazingly freeing to stop caring what others think?
Isn't it FAR MORE FUN to be your own true genuine self?!
I sure think so. So come on over, and be infectiously obnoxious with me. We'll have a grand old time! Be yourself, loudly and proudly, without shrinking, without fear, and we shall do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING we want to do.
THRIVE along with me, my friend!
It is better to be TOO MUCH than to be TOO
LITTLE.
–Sabrina Marthaler Hoppe
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