Hug for Your Health

Listen, the world needs more hugs.

You can give them.

And you SHOULD.

http://paleoforwomen.com/4-reasons-people-who-hug-are-healthier-and-happier/

Calorie Counting: Maybe Don't

Depending on who you are, calorie counting may be a No Good Very Bad idea for you.

For me it was temporarily okay, to learn where I was & where I should be, and how to pick the right foods for my workout needs...but I continued to do it for YEARS because I am exactly & precisely reason #3 that you will read in this post.

http://paleoforwomen.com/5-reasons-to-stop-counting-calories-right-now/

If you are also a high-achieving perfectionist, and you feel you need to count calories in order to get your eating in order, then my recommendation is that you put a defined TIMELINE in place before you even begin. Go ahead & log calories for X days or X weeks, using the info to make smart nutrition decisions, and then once you reach that point, STOP.

If you've been doing it right (with the goal of learning how to eat right for your body), then you will have built the habits necessary to continuing eating to your needs, and you'll hopefully have learned how to gauge that based on your body's feedback, NOT simply on what the little calorie-tallying charts tell you.

Here's where I am today:

Every now and then, when I start to feel terrible (low energy, poor sleep, etc), I realize I am probably not eating enough, so I count calories for a few days to see where I am. Invariably, I find that I am about 500 calories south of where I should probably be - so with that info, I STOP COUNTING and start making a conscious effort to add more calories. Soon enough, I feel strong & badass again.

Every now and then, when I start to feel like clothes aren't fitting right and maybe I'm a little fluffier than I want to be...I DO NOT start counting calories. I merely pay better attention to what I'm eating, and I realize that I probably should stop buying chips & pizza for a while, until my usual good habits are back in charge and most of my intake is en pointe. Then I can buy chips & pizza again, and they remain "sometimes foods" until I get out of whack again.

And my friend, listen to this: I am not bouncing back & forth between these options on a weekly basis. The first happens 1-2 times per YEAR. The second, again 1-2 times per YEAR.

This is a life worth living, far more enjoyable than tallying every calorie every day for the rest of your miserable life.

And you can get there, I know you can - if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. I believe in you.

Low Carb Danger Signs

I recognize a lot of my old struggles in this post about low-carb eating:

http://paleoforwomen.com/7-dangers-of-low-carbohydrate-diets-for-women/

Additionally, a lot of "Paleo didn't work for me!" stuff I've read lately seems to be completely misleading and should actually be called "Low-carb didn't work for me!"

Tangent: It pisses me off that Paleo is automatically translated as "low-carb." it may start there, but every GOOD source will tell you that if you're active, add carbs; if it's intense add A LOT. People seem to ignore that immensely important detail, along with this one: you have to figure out what works FOR YOU, precious snowflake.

For me, low-carb worked for a while, and then it completely didn't, although it took me a long time to realize it. I now eat significantly more carbs than I used to: I consume roughly 250g per day as a minimum, and on deadlift day I typically justify an extra 100g beyond that, because moar deadliftz yo. (Also, because potato chips are delicious.)

If low-carb doesn't seem to be working for you, if you're experiencing the sort of symptoms Stefani shared, try adding quality carbs back into your diet (and even some junk carbs, if the rest of your diet is en pointe). I predict that, like me, you will realize how much better you feel with more carbs.

If you do well without carbs, hey, congrats! But do keep these tidbits in your back pocket, because nothing lasts forever.

Eating Disorder, or Disordered Eating?

I've often wondered if the difference was a matter of severity or what. Turns out, it's a matter of fitting into the precise definition of an eating disorder, or no.

Stefani lays it out: http://paleoforwomen.com/the-difference-between-eating-disorders-and-disordered-eating-and-why-it-matters/

This helps me understand that I did not technically have an eating disorder. But if the definitions expanded just an inch, then yes I did. In fact, I had every symptom she lists as disordered eating.

If only people were better about recognizing these borderline issues as a real problem, I think we could make things a lot easier for those who aren't technically fitting the definitions. I was not a borderline mess, I was a legit hot fucking mess. I needed help. I did not know how to ask for it, because I was not anorexic or bulimic, the only two eating disorders I understood.

Please educate yourself, and your loved ones, and maybe help prevent future hot messes from floundering for years.

Making Your Bed Is Stupid

Recently I watched a video about making your bed, and it was basically touted as the solution to all your woes.

Well, I call bullshit.

I never make my bed, and here's why: it absolutely doesn't fucking matter.

• Other things can give you a sense of accomplishment first thing in the morning. Like, make coffee before you've had coffee, or cook up a big breakfast. BOOM, you rock.
•  Your bed should not be used for anything but sleeping & sex, so why should it look pretty? You only see it when you're about to crawl in or out. You want pretty, look at a flower.
•  When I leave my bed in the morning, my husband is still sleeping in it; I'm pretty sure HE wouldn't think it important for me to make it. 
• Also, we don't even share blankets, because I like to be tucked in like a child, and also I overheat easily. How does one make such a bed? Why WOULD one?

Does all that mean I'm destined to be a failure in life, Admiral?

No, but it might mean I never have bedbugs or stupid allergies from the wee critters who try to live in my sheets.

http://paleoforwomen.com/why-i-never-make-my-bed/

HA! SO THERE, MAN.

Just another reason you must not let people convince you that one simple thing will change your life.

It's not that easy.

MANY simple things will change your life, sure, but there is no silver bullet.

(Unless you're being hunted by a werewolf, I guess. In that case, you surely don't have time to make your bed.)

Healthy At Every Size

I am quite in love with that Stefani recently wrote about this movement:

http://paleoforwomen.com/why-i-love-healthy-at-every-size/

High Achievers & Exercise: A Dangerous Combo

Stefani drops some knowledge bombs again: http://paleoforwomen.com/do-you-exercise-too-much/

I used to overexercise, big time. Two-a-days were common: a run at lunch, then lifting weights with a friend after work. Maybe even a long marathon training run on Saturday morning, followed by a date in the weight room.

It was fun, and it felt good. I was never at the level of those who talk about 6-hour days of group fitness plus their OWN workout, no, but it was quite a lot.

For a while, it was fine; I felt great, I dropped fat, I was having the time of my LIFE feeling and looking so good.

Until I wasn't.

Slowly I fell backward, until I reached a point where I was constantly tired and incapable of completing my marathon training runs, diagnosably depressed, and stuck in a loooong cycle of restriction & binge-eating.

The above post by Stefani aptly describes the physical mess I made for myself, and it's been a long road to recovery.

Now, during my busy work season (six 10-hour workdays), getting in three sessions of lifting per week is perfectly possible, but anything beyond that feels like effort I can't produce. Sometimes I log a running date with friends & my dogs, but it's only for the social aspect; the run itself is not something I crave.

Yet I often feel like it's not enough, I should be doing more, why can't I squeeze in something on my off days?

Because I can't.

I mean, sure, on paper, in theory, I have room for a workout; just pop down to my own basement and play with a kettlebell or bike for a while or do some yoga...but most days, I have no room in my BRAIN when I finally get home from a draining day, 12 hours after I left.

And I have to tell myself regularly: that's okay.

Once spring arrives, and tax season ends, and my brain calms down again, my running will ramp up without reducing my lifting, and I will be capable of 6 days of [smart] exercise per week. But in the meantime, I'm just plain not, unless I want to smash into a brick wall of exhaustion and depression again. (Spoiler alert: I don't.)

This is what I've had to learn: I am driven to do more, better, farther, heavier, always, at any cost, because I'm an Achiever with a capital A. But despite my brain's desires, my body will usually not be able to pay the cost of those achievements, so I have to scale back to less. But the result of backing off is a capable, resilient body; one that feels good and still lets me do MOST of what I want.

I'm still learning, and my capability changes, sometimes unexpectedly. But one of the key things I've learned is that mental stress changes my capacity dramatically.

Wherever you are on the exercise spectrum, you have mental stress (job, finances, spouse, kids, bad hair days), and that has much the same effect on your body as a hard workout (though without the strengthened muscles, sadly), and you need to take that into account when deciding how much more physical stress to add in the form of exercise.

Sure, many people aren't doing anything at all, but those people probably aren't reading this. You are probably closer to the end of doing too much. Even if you think it doesn't apply: if you feel like what you do isn't enough, really EXAMINE that idea.

Enough for what? For who? We often judge ourselves harshly by comparing to the topmost achievers. But what they're doing is irrelevant.

What are your goals, honestly & truly, right now, during this season of your life?

Regularly beating yourself to a sore pulp feels good, it floods you with endorphins, and it feels like you're really accomplishing something when your muscles ache and your joints creak as you crawl out of bed...but few of us have goals demanding that level of exercise. Harsh workouts are on the opposite end of the spectrum from the goal of lifelong health.

Exercise should be enjoyable and provide you with strength and energy and stress release. If that isn't what it's doing for you, you need to make a change, and it's a lot easier to do it before you are FORCED to do it by a body battling back at you.

Find your capacity for awesome, and then celebrate your achievements with the world. (Hint: "the world" includes you.)

Shut Up, You're Amazing

Stefani is one of my favorites. She's smart, and she's real, and she's helpful. What more could you possibly need?

I know who and what I am. I know my limitations. I know many of my weak spots. I know that I have many weak spots that I don’t even know about. Those things existing do not in any sense take away from who I am. They are a part of me. They are a part of this girl who has grown up and developed in all these complex ways, who has a terrible temper she inherited from her father, who is impatient and feisty and so obnoxiously rebellious. My weaknesses are a part of the whole package of me. I know who that package is. I accept it. I try to make it better.

But I am what I am… and why not let it be awesome?

She is like my internal voice on my good days, which I've had less of lately - and I sure do miss feeling good about myself. When I'm down I can't focus on my awesomeness; it's monumentally hard to just get through the day without bawling.

But when I'm me, when I'm normal, when my hormones and neurons are doing what they're supposed to... then I do like myself, and I have fun being me, and I do the sort of stuff she writes about in this post, and I can tell you that it WORKS.

Honestly, Stefani is one of the reasons I'm able to have more good days than bad. Go read, you amazing badass.

http://paleoforwomen.com/repeat-after-me-shut-up-im-amazing/

Weight Loss Sabotage?

If you're seeking a truly healthy weight, this could be helpful reading for you.

Stefani breaks down important logistical tips, along with vital psychological tips that will help daily life for any of us.

I can’t tell you how many women I have worked with who continually went up and down with their weight, but could never stabilize at a healthy one.

They might not have known it at the time, but they were all sabotaging themselves in one way or another.

Fortunately, when we sit down and talk, and when I give them some feedback, we normally figure out where the sabotaging is coming from, and how to stop it.

Go forth: http://paleoforwomen.com/how-to-stop-self-sabotaging-your-weight-loss/

You Say You Want A Resolution (Or Not)

I'm finally sharing some specific resolution talk, three weeks into the year.

Oops.

But actually...maybe now's the perfect time to talk about them anyway.

If you've picked the right ones and are #killingit then you should pat yourself on the back, and peruse the article in case you could incorporate one or two into your new world o' ass-kicking.

And if you picked the wrong resolutions and are #awfuckit then try these on for size, for easy steps back toward feeling as though you're winning at life.

They are also good if you are completely anti-resolution.

Basically, I'm saying everyone should read it and EVERYONE WINS:

http://paleoforwomen.com/6-uniquely-helpful-new-years-resolutions/

Stop Binges Before They Begin

First things first: everything Stefani writes is awesome; please bookmark, subscribe, etc, because she's pretty much a genius.

This post is a fantastic starting point for anyone who's stuck in the binge/restrict/repeat pattern. It's not a new post, but it was new to me, and every single line of it reads true to my own experience with the binge/restrict (and over-exercise) pattern.

When I was in that pattern, my answer to "how to stop binges before they begin" would've been something like "don't have binge-worthy food in the house" but that is so, so, so wrong. You can binge on anything, from cookies to breaksticks to chicken - and I've done it.

The answer isn't selective food, it's eating enough EVERY SINGLE DAY, so that you don't have the physical need to binge.

Wait, did you catch that?

Binges are not a failing of your mental willpower. They are a PHYSICAL NEED you have prompted by restricting your intake. It is your biological drive to live kicking in, and you can't avoid it, no matter how "tough" you are.

Go read Stefani's post to understand it:

Binge/Restrict:The Most Common Pattern of Overeating, and How to Stop (with Love!)

 ...

Many women who binge and restrict would like to stop bingeing before they stop restricting. They think that they will lose whatever progress they have achieved, in terms of caloric deficits, if they stop restricting first. They anticipate continuing to over-eat, even while they are not restricting. This is an understandable fear — and trust me when I say that I understand how powerful fear can be as a human being in this precarious state.   However: this is impossible.  Deliberate restriction necessarily begets bingeing behavior.  Necessarily.  Restriction must be phased out of our lives before we can stop over-eating.  Willpower does not do the trick.  Hard-lined restriction does not win.   Love does.

http://paleoforwomen.com/the-most-common-pattern-of-overeating-and-how-to-stop/

... 

  

Here's a brief synopsis of my own history: I was trying to eat 1600-1800 calories per day, but averaging 2200-2400 with weekend binges; or I would fast a day or two, and eat more the other days, aiming to average 1800 overall, but again failing that and bingeing on pretty much anything once I hit complete & utter exhaustion.

Post-binge, cue: hating myself, and repeating, and hating, and repeating. For at least a year.

I. Was. Fucking. Miserable.

And I blamed myself, for not having enough willpower, for being dumb enough to try making a Paleo treat and thinking I could moderate intake, for not being able to fast, for ME SUCKING. And I knew it wasn't working, but I didn't know what else to do, because not restricting would obviously lead to massive weight gain. So, continue trying & failing.

I finally gave up, mostly out of sheer exhaustion, but also after reading things written by people like Stefani or Amber. Following their advice, I put my trust in my body, not even caring anymore if I gained weight, just knowing I absolutely could not sustain this life of misery any longer.

When I stopped restricting, something wild and crazy (that's sarcasm) happened: I landed at an average intake of 2200-2400 daily ANYWAY, but without the binges that made me hate myself. Instead, each day I was well-nourished for my exercise, which fueled positive feelings via runner's high and lifter's badassery, and I became a MUCH happier person.

I didn't balloon up into a fat cow, either! I looked exactly the same, because my intake was, on average, exactly the same; but I didn't have to beat myself into exhaustion & hatred along the way.

Truly, it was that simple.

It was a process, it wasn't always easy, but it was a bajillion times easier (& healthier) than the restrict/binge cycle had been.

So please, if you're stuck in this cycle, I implore you to try this route instead: focus on making sure you are eating enough, instead of focusing on how little you can get away with.

What have you got to lose, besides the hatred?