Be positive! I SAID BE POSITIVE.

OMG YES.

People’s reactions to perceived unhappiness, especially in women & young people, are interesting. Those reactions are often very intense. Strangers & acquaintances alike feel compelled to chastise me for not being grateful for my life, or to remind me that my situation could be worse, or that I’m beautiful & should therefore go through life gifting the world with my permanently bared teeth.

It’s worse online, where Instagram & Facebook often feel overrun by positivity pushers who replace fitspo with memes that demand I never feel bad or self-conscious or anything less than 100% pure gratitude for every single experience of my day. Everything is a gift, the positivity pressure tells me, so say thank you.

https://ontheuplift.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/positivity-pressure/

Up and Down

Jenny Lawson is one of my favorite writers. Book, blog, anything, everything.

This post is on living with depression. If you've ever had it, read this.

http://thebloggess.com/2016/10/10/up-and-down-and-up-again/

Steps Toward Normal

A continuation of her prior post, which I shared last month:

It is so important to note that my unhealthy lifestyle was not the cause of my problems, it was just a symptom of a larger issue, not being true to myself and not living an authentic life. I think this is the case with most people who adopt unhealthy eating and workout patterns. A larger issue or stressor is causing them to use exercise and nutrition in a negative manner to control whatever they are feeling powerless over. Like an injury, unless you address the root cause of the problem, you will never find a permanent solution, and will likely experience one setback after another. I eventually recognized this, and made loving my authentic self and living my life openly a huge priority. After all, doing so was a choice. This is when all aspects of my life changed for the better, including my workouts and nutrition.

http://www.meghancallawayfitness.com/my-blog/owning-it-part-2-how-to-create-a-healthy-lifestyle-after-spending-years-having-a-dysfunctional-one

Why Weight-Loss Programs Almost NEVER Work

Beth Clayton (formerly Wittig) is so very smart, so very real, and she writes SO beautifully. She writes directly to your soul.

May I just say something? You are probably an emotional eater, especially if you are reading this. I know because I’m an emotional eater. I know because most people I have ever come in to contact with are emotional eaters.

I’m here to tell you a secret…it has almost nothing to do with food.

...

You want to get real with emotional eating? It’s time to get real with your life. It’s time to get real with how you communicate with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to look inward instead of outward. Emotions don’t have to be “bad”, even the painful ones, even the uncomfortable ones. They are sign posts. You just need to start to read their language.

Read it all: http://www.soulbodylife.com/it-has-almost-nothing-to-do-with-food/

On Vulnerability

Vulnerability is especially on topic for me lately, as I feel very too much so open to all the feels and all the emotions and lay my heart bare on a daily basis.

But Dallas claims it will make me stronger, and he's a genius, so.

Showing your friends and family only the parts of your life where you have it all together is like letting those people look at a book’s cover or maybe flip through it, but not letting them actually read the book… and then wondering why they don’t understand the story line. We are all too good at keeping a distance between us and others. We hide the ugly parts, the sorrows the fears. Especially the fears. We wear “emotional armor” in an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt if someone rejects or hurts us. We keep our vulnerability to a minimum in order to prevent others from hurting us, but in doing so, we maintain an extra space between us and them. 

http://dallashartwig.com/vulnerability-stronger/

Fellow Perfectionists: You Need (to read) Dis

Nia will never steer you wrong: http://www.niashanks.com/perfection-possible/

Shut Up, You're Amazing

Stefani is one of my favorites. She's smart, and she's real, and she's helpful. What more could you possibly need?

I know who and what I am. I know my limitations. I know many of my weak spots. I know that I have many weak spots that I don’t even know about. Those things existing do not in any sense take away from who I am. They are a part of me. They are a part of this girl who has grown up and developed in all these complex ways, who has a terrible temper she inherited from her father, who is impatient and feisty and so obnoxiously rebellious. My weaknesses are a part of the whole package of me. I know who that package is. I accept it. I try to make it better.

But I am what I am… and why not let it be awesome?

She is like my internal voice on my good days, which I've had less of lately - and I sure do miss feeling good about myself. When I'm down I can't focus on my awesomeness; it's monumentally hard to just get through the day without bawling.

But when I'm me, when I'm normal, when my hormones and neurons are doing what they're supposed to... then I do like myself, and I have fun being me, and I do the sort of stuff she writes about in this post, and I can tell you that it WORKS.

Honestly, Stefani is one of the reasons I'm able to have more good days than bad. Go read, you amazing badass.

http://paleoforwomen.com/repeat-after-me-shut-up-im-amazing/

You Are The Sun

Consider the sun.

It doesn't change. EVAH. It's the exact same, day in & day out.

For millennia.

But the Earth changes, and it shifts our perspective of the sun rather dramatically.

In our little blip of a life, we see so many gorgeous sunrises, so many bright warm noontimes, and sigh over brilliant sunsets.

Same sun. Same position. No change.

Its changing beauty lies COMPLETELY in our own perspective, and we appreciate it always.

What if you are the sun?

Who thinks you gorgeous at 6am? Loves your loud laughter at lunch? Sighs over your perfect bear hugs in the evening?

Your loved ones do.

And they adore you regardless of how you change, or don't change.

They will be quite happy if you never change.

In their eyes, you have always been the epitome of perfection, from every angle.

Always.

BELIEVE THEM.

We Are All Just OK

I love The Lady That Be Stumptuous. Always read her, everywhere, in everything.

Here she displays one of my most favorite qualities: authenticity.

There are only imperfect, wonderful, messy, very-much-human beings with hopes and fears and desires and neuroses and jobs and lives and kids and dogs or cats and family demands and toilets that need unclogging and lines-becoming-wrinkles and hangnails and alarms that go off too early and a love of chocolate-chip cookies… and all the rest of reality.

Like you.

Like me.

Like all of us.

“We’re all bozos on the bus,” said Woodstock MC Wavy Gravy in 1969, “so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.”

Find it all here, and enjoy KSD in all of her wondertastic glory: http://www.precisionnutrition.com/that-fit-person-whos-got-it-all-together-doesnt

Be MORE

Nia Shanks is one of my favorite bloggers. I love & agree with pretty much everything she writes. This post lays out almost every single big rock that matters, IMO:

http://www.niashanks.com/be-more-not-less/

It's fabulous, and I want you (everyone!)  to read it and GET IT. I want everyone to know, believe, understand, BE everything on her list.

She presents 13 keys to being more, not less. If there is too much NEW to absorb at once, then pick just one to focus on & delve into a bit more. You can start with whichever one is most frustrating or important to you at this moment. Or perhaps you want to start on the small end, tackle something that you feel you can easily adjust in your mind, and make it a baby step toward the big scary fearful rocks.

Get clicky, get thinky, focus on improving your mindset in one area at a time. Or you could read everything she's ever written, all at once, with your brain screaming YES YES YES!! at every post.

The "be more" concept of this post speaks to my very soul. It is something I remind myself daily, sometimes hourly.

Think about the meek, timid, barely-speaks-above-a-whisper person that you want to pick up and shake sometimes, scream SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY FOR CHRISSAKE in their afraid-for-no-good-reason little face. All they want to do is hide from everyone because they are terrified to be themselves, to be seen, to be anything that anyone could ever be offended by. They don't just want to blend into the wallpaper, they want to BE the freaking wallpaper.

Do you love being around them? I sure don't (if that's not obvious).

Those people are massive energy vampires, constantly dragging you down into their pit of fear & worry, and we all need to avoid them like the infectious plague. Sometimes I find myself acting like that, and I hate it. When I recognize myself falling into that pit, I stop and remind myself to BE MORE. Who wants to live their life in that horrible, sad, SMALL place? Not this she-hulk.

Now, think about the loud, obnoxious people you know: the ones that grate on you when it's 7am and you're underslept and WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD FOR CHRISSAKE, can't they just shut up for once?

But don't you freaking LOVE being around them when you are your normal rested self (perhaps after more coffee)? Doesn't their bright, loud energy just overflow like a river, directly into you, infect you, make you silly, make you loud, make you downright obnoxious, too? And when you feel that giddy, don't you completely not care if others think you should shut up? And isn't it amazingly freeing to stop caring what others think?

Isn't it FAR MORE FUN to be your own true genuine self?!

I sure think so. So come on over, and be infectiously obnoxious with me. We'll have a grand old time! Be yourself, loudly and proudly, without shrinking, without fear, and we shall do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING we want to do.

THRIVE along with me, my friend!

It is better to be TOO MUCH than to be TOO LITTLE.

–Sabrina Marthaler Hoppe

False Personas

How utterly exhausting it must be to put on a different persona for different situations, to always be "on" instead of your plain ol' self.

Obviously I understand there are times when one should be professional or formal, and not drop f-bombs constantly (although, if this COULD become acceptable in all situations, that'd be fucking bomb dig) - that's not what I'm talking about.

But to be a different person on the job, a different person with friends, a different person on a committee, a different person amongst family - that is what I'm talking about. That's a life that will exhaust you.

It's so much easier to just be real and genuine and always YOU.

It doesn't take any extra effort to be yourself, you just...be you. That shouldn't be at all exhausting; it should be freeing!

And if the real and genuine YOU isn't good enough for all of those situations, then either decide to work on you, or just say a hearty "fuck off!" to those people and who they need you to be.

You need to be you, and you are enough.