Goals Evolve

This post is written specifically about how training goals evolve, but I think it's true of how ANY area evolves. Read it a second time while thinking about nutrition, or your job, or even the state of your house.

I found it great food for thought because it feels very accurate and applicable in my own life. In the performance realm, I hope it helps me to stop judging aesthetic goals as superficial, and performance goals as worthy, which I've found myself doing lately. Yet neither goal is be-all and end-all, and without the former I myself would never have discovered the latter...thus making all of it worthy.

http://markfisherfitness.com/evolution-training-goals/

Stop Trying To Have It All

My version of this is a constant struggle for me, and I suspect it's true for most of us.

What’s changed is not our inability to manage our time or “balance our lives” between work and play. What’s changed is that we have more opportunities for work and play than ever before — more interests, more awareness of every potential experience we’re passing up. In short, we have more opportunity cost.

And we’re made aware of this in a terribly connected way each day. Every person who decides to sacrifice their dating life to advance their career is now bombarded constantly by the rambunctious sex lives of their friends and strangers. Every person who sacrifices their career prospects to dedicate more time and energy to their family is now bombarded with the material successes of the most exceptional people around them at all times. Every person who decides to take a thankless but necessary role in society is now constantly drowned in inane stories of the famous and beautiful.

So how do we respond to this new, overly-connected culture? How do we manage our FOMO?

You CAN and SHOULD read it all: https://markmanson.net/you-cant-have-it-all

That Post-Goal Slump

Hitting a huge dive in motivation after achieving something awesome is pretty damned common.

Here's a great perspective on why you're in it, and how to climb out.

http://markfisherfitness.com/blog/goal-accomplished-whats-next/

What If?

Oh man, my eyeballs produced tears of recognition as I read this...profound.

...But sometimes, they have a really hard time BELIEVING that it can happen for them, so they start hiding, settling, lose steam. They have ten thousand examples why they can’t lose weight, how people don’t love them, how they are outsiders, unworthy, unloveable, unsuccessful, that they are broken or defective in some way. They have evidence for their stories, and it feels pretty damn air-tight to them. When we try to dis-prove the theory, it just doesn’t really shift things for them. Again, it FEELS so real. Why bother when you are going to fail anyway? 

...

So, what do you do when the story feels too real?

http://www.soulbodylife.com/the-two-little-words-that-can-change-your-life/

Missing from the blog post, but in her newsletter (so, duh, SIGN UP!), the ending clincher that hit me full-stop:

It may be time to somersault into the inconceivable.

High Achievers & Exercise: A Dangerous Combo

Stefani drops some knowledge bombs again: http://paleoforwomen.com/do-you-exercise-too-much/

I used to overexercise, big time. Two-a-days were common: a run at lunch, then lifting weights with a friend after work. Maybe even a long marathon training run on Saturday morning, followed by a date in the weight room.

It was fun, and it felt good. I was never at the level of those who talk about 6-hour days of group fitness plus their OWN workout, no, but it was quite a lot.

For a while, it was fine; I felt great, I dropped fat, I was having the time of my LIFE feeling and looking so good.

Until I wasn't.

Slowly I fell backward, until I reached a point where I was constantly tired and incapable of completing my marathon training runs, diagnosably depressed, and stuck in a loooong cycle of restriction & binge-eating.

The above post by Stefani aptly describes the physical mess I made for myself, and it's been a long road to recovery.

Now, during my busy work season (six 10-hour workdays), getting in three sessions of lifting per week is perfectly possible, but anything beyond that feels like effort I can't produce. Sometimes I log a running date with friends & my dogs, but it's only for the social aspect; the run itself is not something I crave.

Yet I often feel like it's not enough, I should be doing more, why can't I squeeze in something on my off days?

Because I can't.

I mean, sure, on paper, in theory, I have room for a workout; just pop down to my own basement and play with a kettlebell or bike for a while or do some yoga...but most days, I have no room in my BRAIN when I finally get home from a draining day, 12 hours after I left.

And I have to tell myself regularly: that's okay.

Once spring arrives, and tax season ends, and my brain calms down again, my running will ramp up without reducing my lifting, and I will be capable of 6 days of [smart] exercise per week. But in the meantime, I'm just plain not, unless I want to smash into a brick wall of exhaustion and depression again. (Spoiler alert: I don't.)

This is what I've had to learn: I am driven to do more, better, farther, heavier, always, at any cost, because I'm an Achiever with a capital A. But despite my brain's desires, my body will usually not be able to pay the cost of those achievements, so I have to scale back to less. But the result of backing off is a capable, resilient body; one that feels good and still lets me do MOST of what I want.

I'm still learning, and my capability changes, sometimes unexpectedly. But one of the key things I've learned is that mental stress changes my capacity dramatically.

Wherever you are on the exercise spectrum, you have mental stress (job, finances, spouse, kids, bad hair days), and that has much the same effect on your body as a hard workout (though without the strengthened muscles, sadly), and you need to take that into account when deciding how much more physical stress to add in the form of exercise.

Sure, many people aren't doing anything at all, but those people probably aren't reading this. You are probably closer to the end of doing too much. Even if you think it doesn't apply: if you feel like what you do isn't enough, really EXAMINE that idea.

Enough for what? For who? We often judge ourselves harshly by comparing to the topmost achievers. But what they're doing is irrelevant.

What are your goals, honestly & truly, right now, during this season of your life?

Regularly beating yourself to a sore pulp feels good, it floods you with endorphins, and it feels like you're really accomplishing something when your muscles ache and your joints creak as you crawl out of bed...but few of us have goals demanding that level of exercise. Harsh workouts are on the opposite end of the spectrum from the goal of lifelong health.

Exercise should be enjoyable and provide you with strength and energy and stress release. If that isn't what it's doing for you, you need to make a change, and it's a lot easier to do it before you are FORCED to do it by a body battling back at you.

Find your capacity for awesome, and then celebrate your achievements with the world. (Hint: "the world" includes you.)

You Say You Want A Resolution (Or Not)

I'm finally sharing some specific resolution talk, three weeks into the year.

Oops.

But actually...maybe now's the perfect time to talk about them anyway.

If you've picked the right ones and are #killingit then you should pat yourself on the back, and peruse the article in case you could incorporate one or two into your new world o' ass-kicking.

And if you picked the wrong resolutions and are #awfuckit then try these on for size, for easy steps back toward feeling as though you're winning at life.

They are also good if you are completely anti-resolution.

Basically, I'm saying everyone should read it and EVERYONE WINS:

http://paleoforwomen.com/6-uniquely-helpful-new-years-resolutions/

Habits: How-To

Ah, the new year, a fresh, blank calendar just waiting for us to fill it up with plans, made by the person we want to become.

It's that "Monday reset" feeling, but in bulk, times 365 366 (it's a leap year).

Let's make this year's plans stick, and let's not do it by co-opting some crappy magazine's "how to overhaul your life" list.

I'd bet my pinky toe that you've done that, and it didn't work - not because you suck, but because truly, that kind of overhaul never works.

Here's what does: http://habitry.com/blog/the-only-habits-that-matter

You Failed, Now What?

Oh hey, if I haven't said it already, those Habitry peeps be geniuses.

Well, here you are. You failed at a goal you set yourself. 

Maybe it was a New Year’s resolution, or maybe it was a longtime dream.

Regardless of what kind of goal it was, it can feel terrible to have failed at achieving something you want. And yet it's a very common experience. People often fail to get things they want and have worked for. Just as common is the urge to dwell on the negative aspects — to say that you didn't want it enough, you weren't good enough, or you just didn't try hard enough. 

Simple, straightforward questions to ask yourself at this point: http://habitry.com/blog/3-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-you-fail-to-achieve-a-goal?mc_cid=c76b4dff03&mc_eid=83986a8796

See the Mountain, but Focus on the Climb

The journey is the thing. It really is.

The destination can, usually will, often MUST change, whether you like it or not, and whether we're talking about a hike or fat loss or your career plans.

The lessons you will learn and the successes along the way and the trials you will undertake, these will lead to the person you become. You are shaped by the journey itself, not by the destination.

Ah, finally done with the laundry! (Then you realize the kitchen is a mess.)

Yes, finally finished college! (Then you realize you’re $100,000 in debt and need a job.)

So often the successful completion of one goal leads to innumerable others that expand before you.

http://johnolearyinspires.com/2015/12/the-truth-about-false-summits/

More Rog Law

Seriously. Read, like, everything this guy writes. All of it.

Each of these recent posts is golden:

http://roglawfitness.com/how-to-take-charge-of-your-motivation/

http://roglawfitness.com/man-wastes-life-so-you-dont-have-to/

http://roglawfitness.com/the-great-comparison-hoax/

Cost of Success

Everything you choose to do has opportunity costs - something you have to NOT do in order to do the thing you have chosen. It may mean less time with your TV to get in that workout. It may mean less time for your workout to spend time with your kids. It may mean you can't keep up with Facebook because you're spending time with your closest friends in real life.

You have a limited amount of time, and every minute you spend doing one thing means you have lost the chance to do another thing. Every trade-off is a sacrifice.

This post talks about making sure you have thought about the things you are sacrificing, or are willing to sacrifice, for your goals. A quick but thought-provoking read:

http://successify.net/2013/05/29/the-success-auction-how-much-would-you-pay/

Whatever you determine success to be for your life, attaining it will require some kind of sacrifice; whether it be time, money, focus, etc. Nothing worthwhile in this world is created without some kind of personal sacrifice.

That is why relatively few people ever achieve what they consider “success.” The sacrifice required is often times more than they are willing to give.

http://successify.net/2013/05/29/the-success-auction-how-much-would-you-pay/