The Coveted Work-Life Balance

Pete Dupuis is in the world of fitness business consulting, a father, and a damn good writer. This post is specific to his experience, but the lessons relate to just about anyone.

Finding balance in my own personal and professional life is not a finite game. Due to the constantly changing circumstances of my life, there will never be a moment where I can say that I’ve found the permanent recipe for work-life balance. Instead, I can only tell you what has worked for me in the past, and you can go ahead and cherry-pick the ideas that bring value to your search for balance.

http://www.petedupuis.com/blog-1/2016/10/19/lessons-learned-while-chasing-the-elusive-work-life-balance

Financial Fun

Off my usual topics, but something I am intimately familiar with: the mindset of personal finances.

This isn't a how-to-save post, but a "find your WHY" post:

http://twocents.lifehacker.com/personal-finance-has-everything-and-nothing-to-do-with-1766425829

And it's highly accurate, my own experience tells me. I label my various savings accounts for specifics (vehicle, vacation) that keeps it practical (new tires, no problem, tap the savings account) but also ensures I don't mindlessly blow money on daily Americanos, so that I have ample funds stashed for this summer's mountain vacation.

But for some people, a daily Americano will light up their life, because travel isn't all that important to them, or because they have perfectly-placed friends ensuring free vacation lodgings, or whatever.

On the other hand, I don't need enough funds for a trip to Europe, so instead I will spend a lot of my money on my personal trainer, who is vital to my daily happiness.
 
The point is to know what you're working your ass off FOR, adjust your spending habits accordingly, and ignore what everyone else is doing.

Chase Your Dream Job

Where are you in this bubble?

I love accounting & spreadsheeting & bookkeeping and all the usual office-y things (truly, I love them!), and I'm good at it. BONUS: the world needs it, and will pay for it.

So, bliss found: just go do accounting, right?

Almost. I've been doing accounting for the past 16 years, and I've come to an additional realization: WHERE I do it, WHO my time is benefitting, also matters to me. Hugely. The only thing in this world that I have complete & total control over is what I do with my time.

I simply cannot spend my time, my one most precious & completely priceless commodity, at a business that I don't care about. Now, I used to care about the company I just left (after 9.5 years), but it changed; I still cared about the people, but not about its mission & goals. I don't think the world needs the product they are selling. I no longer enjoyed my daily work because of the unreasonable demands on my time. I've been hanging out in the "career" & "satisfaction" crossover of the bubbles for the past year or two. But I simply didn't feel fulfilled giving my time to a company that didn't share my personal values. And when I realized that was my problem, it became clear that exiting was my only option.

I DO think the world needs the service my dream employer (NSS) is selling. I LOVE the place like it's my second home, and the trainers there are part of my carefully-curated tribe. NSS changed my life for the better in every possible way, and so if I can give them my time to help them change MORE lives, then I will. I must. It's my bliss!

However, I'm having to do a little compromising to get there. They can't take me full-time, can't quite justify the expense of a salary for me five days per week. But we settled on three days, and I can make that work by spending two days a week at an accounting firm. So, I'm now out of my unwanted corporate job, and at my dream job three days per week, & my almost-dream-job two days per week. Wow! Am I ever lucky!

Wrong.

It's not luck, not one little bit of it. None. Let me tell you the story of how I've arrived at this "perfect job" scenario:

Thirteen years ago (13!), I picked up a part-time job at DBB, an accounting firm in my hometown. The work was different from my usual bookkeeping, and the coworkers were super-duper-uper nice, so it was actually quite fun to do. Putting in about 15 hours a week doing taxes helped me save up a nice chunk of change. Even after changing my FT job to 30 miles away, and moving 10 miles toward that job, I continued to work tax seasons, driving past my own home to work a second job a few nights a week, and ALLLLL DAY Saturday. It got long, but since it was winter, I wasn't really missing much besides laziness at home on the couch. With a promotion at my FT job, and the distance, I scaled back to Saturdays only, still unwilling to give up the easy money, or disappoint a business that relied on my expertise & expressed their appreciation for me every single day that I worked there. Some years, such as the three years I also trained for a spring marathon during that same timeframe, it was beyond stressful. I chipped away at my sanity to fulfill that job. But it always felt worth it, because the place adored me. I skipped ONE tax season, to train for Boston for the third straight year, but I unhesitatingly went back the very next year (and quit with the spring marathon nonsense).

So, I am now at that job two days per week, plus Saturdays during tax season. I'm excited that I'll be able to help them out more, and I'm excited about the kind of work I'll get to do, because it's my favorite of their workload.

I eased my way into NSS over the past 6 years that I've been training there. I started by making them some Excel templates, enthusiastically helped whenever they had questions in my area of expertise, made sure they knew my skills/love of spreadsheets/financial nerdery, and within a couple of years, they asked me to take over some of the bookkeeping to free them up to do what THEY do best. Because I love the place & what it has done for me, and want to help them do it for others, being there full-time would be my ultimate dream job, and I told them that, often. I made it a top priority in my life to be just as invaluable to them as I could be, trusting that eventually they'd grow big enough to need me more. I gradually did more & more things for them (things they didn't even know they needed, sometimes!), made myself helpful in assorted areas, and worked late on Fridays, on weekends, on holidays, whatever was necessary to get the weekly work in - until finally this winter it became pretty clear to all of us that one afternoon per week was no longer enough time for me to get everything done. I offered up this half-time gig idea, and told them what I would need to make (a pay cut for, but higher than they were anticipating, I'm positive) - and they agreed to absolutely everything.

Just like that, I am at that job three days per week, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. They know I want to be there full time, and I am confident they will soon be feeling just as adamant that I need to be there every day - so all we need is the growth to justify it and the P&L to support it. I. Can. Not. Freaking. Wait.

So anyway, all of that babbling is to show that I've worked my ass off to put those two jobs at the top of my priority list, always. Hence, the "luck" that I've landed this dream-job-combo? It's not luck at all. It's pure hard work, determination, the internal drive to be added value to them, an asset they need. I've sacrificed my free/fun time, I've sacrificed my sanity at times, but they have been entirely worth it.

Just like pretty much every success story out there, I worked my ass off, and when the time was right, the opportunity was there to accept the payoff of all those invested years. I've taken a pay cut and lost all kinds of generous big-company benefits to work this combo, but I've dumped a thousand truckloads of stress out of my life, I am working at places aligned with my very core, I've gained my very life back, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier.

And, my dear sweet soul, there is not a single solitary unique thing in my long-winded story. You can write your own history of how you landed at your dream job, too. You can. You must. I promise you: it is worth the sacrifices you will make for it it happen. Because the sacrifices you make to work a job you hate are not, and never will be, worth it.

So, what is your dream job? What's your ultimate, perfect, ideal, fulfilling gig to pay for the rest of your life? Where can you find your bliss?

What will you do with your time, your single most precious, priceless commodity?

What steps can you take NOW to move you toward that life?

How can you work your ass off to achieve it? 

Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. 

-Thomas Alva Edison

Your bliss awaits.

Run toward it with open arms.

The Overkill Cult

Holy wow, did this ever hit close to home for me:

The Overkill Cult is a cultural delusion that working 60+ hour weeks at the expense of everything else in our lives is not only a necessary part of success, but that doing so is somehow honorable.

The insidious thing about the Overkill Cult is that it masquerades as all the things we like most about ourselves: dedication, ambition, follow-through, responsibility.

It tells us to push harder, stay later, sleep when we’re dead. It tells us we’re never going to get ahead if we don’t show up first and go home last.

Cleverly, wickedly, the Overkill Cult persuades us to hang ourselves with our own strengths.

And if we don’t break free, we’re all going to die.

http://lengstorf.com/overkill-cult/

I hope you don't see yourself described in perfect detail, as I did.

If you do...let's both change. I've already given notice at my soul-sucking corporate job (okay, it's not that bad, but it's on the fast-track to it), and soon I will trade it out for two half-time jobs that I already do & love.

I'm losing pay, benefits, and the prestige of leadership at a large (for my area) employer. And I don't care.

Because I'm gaining my sanity.

There will still be >40-hour weeks with these jobs; one of them means 15 straight loooong weeks during tax season. But I've already been doing that - and then it ends. The other job may require some longer days, or some later nights, sometimes weekend events. But they are temporary, and done for good, specific reasons; not indefinitely and because there is far too much work for far too few brains but no plan to change that problem, like my current employer.

Work is not your life. Your LIFE is your life, and work is meant to provide you with means to live the life you want. Make sure yours is doing that. If it's providing you means that you don't even have time to spend, then seriously, really, truly: you're doing it wrong. And if you have more time than money, consider that you might be the successful one.

You can always make more money.

You can never make more time.

Got Job Angst?

Then maybe you ought to read this:
http://www.stratejoy.com/2011/04/for-anyone-who-feels-miserable-in-their-job/

If you are feeling stuck, uninspired, disrespected, and below your potential, I need you to know that it’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to dream bigger and to believe you’re capable of more. You are capable of more. You deserve to be happy at work; no matter what type of work you do.

Oh, does this hit home for me right now. And although I'm still stuck at a job I don't want right now, I've found created a light to guide me out of this dark hole, and I can already tell you she is absolutely 100% right.

http://www.stratejoy.com/2011/04/for-anyone-who-feels-miserable-in-their-job/

And after that, keep clicking & reading. Lots of good stuff on that site!

You may want to read basically everything here: http://www.stratejoy.com/the-bizcareer-guide/

Thoughts on Work

Almost three weeks ago, my company laid off about 25% of the staff. Some of the folks who were cut had LIVED AND BREATHED their job for years. It was their life, their identity, their worth; they were perfect, walking examples of the culture espoused by the company. Yet their position was determined to be extraneous, so despite their utter devotion, they are left jobless.

This is shitty, and it's a good lesson.

It offers up serious perspective for we who remain, and anyone working anywhere: yes, we may love the company; yes, we may love our coworkers; yes, we may love our jobs; but IT IS A JOB. It is not our life, not our identity, not who we are. Be willing to bust ass temporarily, absolutely, when times require; but do not, do fucking NOT, bust ass indefinitely. It simply isn't worth it.

This also applies to someone building a business, a brand, creating a new world that needs attention & devotion & nurturing. That person may very easily let their identity become that new business, a dangerous thing. Yes, you may need to throw yourself in for a long, long while, but you must aim to build a business that doesn't indefinitely require slavish devotion to succeed, so that you can gradually remove yourself from full immersion, and enjoy a return to normal working hours that allows time with your people & your hobbies.

Either way, worker bee or top dog, it's simply not sustainable to invest your everything in your career. Even if it's fulfilling and energizes you, do you really want it to be your whole life? Would your significant other agree with such a priority?  Your kids? Your pets? The friends & relatives you're too busy to visit?

When you're at work, yes, please commit yourself. But when your hours are up, drop the worries, leave them right at that desk, and walk the fuck away; you'll pick them up again tomorrow. But leave them there each night.

Go home. Go play. Go love. Be there, fully present, in YOUR LIFE.