Word To Your Mother

In 2015, I themed my year with one word. The word was THRIVE.

It worked. 

I didn't THRIVE every single day (I didn't completely change, yo), but I paid attention to the things I need to truly THRIVE, rather than simply survive. I found them. And I chased them hard, I made them happen - but when it felt scary to chase them, reminding myself that I needed them to THRIVE was a firm slap to the voices of fear. "I need this to THRIVE so I will have it. Shut up, fear."

It worked. 

I still plan to use it. 

But now it's a new year, so I feel I need a new word. I've been debating it for a while, feeling as though it should be one of my CDFs (generous, radiant, inspiring, thriving), but none of them felt right, and I finally realized it is because of the things I see coming at me this year that are leaving me scared. 

When I changed my thinking to that perspective, the word BRAVE came to mind and immediately felt right. With the scary things looming (not big-scary, just growth/change-scary), I hope focusing on this word will help me unearth the deeply hidden well of bravery that I normally can't find. I'm full of self-doubt, I fucking runneth over with it, and I often have to tell myself to "act as if" to get the scary things done. I like the idea of using BRAVE more than the "act as if" line, which subtly underlines the imposter syndrome; I am only "pretending" I am BRAVE. I want & need the sharper reminder to step up, be BRAVE, go ahead & shine, or go ahead & disappoint, whatever. For as long as I am BRAVE enough to speak the truth inside, I am winning at life. 

Thriving, you might say.