"Smile!"

I suspect you're with me on this: when someone tells you to smile, you want to punch their stupid face.

If you're not with me, get on board with the anger! Raise that fist!

Okay, so this person probably has their heart in the right place: trying to cheer you up, because you look sad or cranky. But when have you ever snapped out of your sadness or crankiness just because someone TOLD you to? If it was that easy, why would you ever be sad or cranky? "My puppy got run over yesterday, and I'm just shattered by it, but gee, since you told me to smile, random coworker, I'm not sad anymore! Thanks so much!!"

And sometimes you're not unhappy, you're just busy working, deep in thought, fighting with a spreadsheet, whatever. There simply IS no emotion to be had, but...you're supposed to be smiling while you do it? Should you be smiling while you do everything? What the fuck is THAT about?

I'll tell you: it's full-blown sexist bullshit. I would bet my toes that men get told to smile 1% of women's 99%. WOMEN get told to smile because we are supposed to be pleasant to look at. Ornaments. Me like pretty, give it to me.

I don't know about you, but I am not here to be an ornament in someone else's world. Fuck them. If my brow is furrowed in confusion, if my dead puppy makes me cry, if I AM happy and smiling, it has nothing to do with them at all. You want pretty? Go stare at a tree, not me.

I don't yet have a good response to "Smile!" I don't know how to politely tell these people that their well-meaning prompt makes me want to punch their stupid sexist faces. But it does. 

Don't be one of these people.