Almost three weeks ago, my company laid off about 25% of the staff. Some of the folks who were cut had LIVED AND BREATHED their job for years. It was their life, their identity, their worth; they were perfect, walking examples of the culture espoused by the company. Yet their position was determined to be extraneous, so despite their utter devotion, they are left jobless.
This is shitty, and it's a good lesson.
It offers up serious perspective for we who remain, and anyone working anywhere: yes, we may love the company; yes, we may love our coworkers; yes, we may love our jobs; but IT IS A JOB. It is not our life, not our identity, not who we are. Be willing to bust ass temporarily, absolutely, when times require; but do not, do fucking NOT, bust ass indefinitely. It simply isn't worth it.
This also applies to someone building a business, a brand, creating a new world that needs attention & devotion & nurturing. That person may very easily let their identity become that new business, a dangerous thing. Yes, you may need to throw yourself in for a long, long while, but you must aim to build a business that doesn't indefinitely require slavish devotion to succeed, so that you can gradually remove yourself from full immersion, and enjoy a return to normal working hours that allows time with your people & your hobbies.
Either way, worker bee or top dog, it's simply not sustainable to invest your everything in your career. Even if it's fulfilling and energizes you, do you really want it to be your whole life? Would your significant other agree with such a priority? Your kids? Your pets? The friends & relatives you're too busy to visit?
When you're at work, yes, please commit yourself. But when your hours are up, drop the worries, leave them right at that desk, and walk the fuck away; you'll pick them up again tomorrow. But leave them there each night.
Go home. Go play. Go love. Be there, fully present, in YOUR LIFE.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
5 Pictures That Make You Feel Beautiful
Lately it's a thing on Facebook to share five pictures that make you feel beautiful. While I love the idea of finding things you like about yourself, and celebrating them, every time I see a friend do this, I cringe.
While some of these pictures are more about the feeling they had at the time (such as hugging a child), most of them are pictures from a wedding, or posed family shots, where they were specifically dolled up to look their best.
This tells us that most of the time, in ordinary everyday life, they do not feel beautiful, and some may think it's sad that they don't feel beautiful every moment.
I think it's a goddamn tragedy that anyone even thinks about it.
Because here's the thing I want them, you, me, all of us to get: no one cares what you look like. And if they do, fuck them and their shallow bullshit. Yes, that goes for your significant other, too.
Think about it: I hope you can agree with me when I say that I don't give a flying fuck what my friends look like. I care who they are inside: kind, funny, generous, smart, fun. They don't need to lose weight or gain weight or get stronger to change my opinion about them; fat or lean or in between, they are the same wonderful person to me, and the outside is irrelevant. If they are supermodel beautiful on the outside, but act like assholes, then we're absolutely not going to hang out.
The extent I might care about my friends' appearance is this: are you healthy enough to do the things you want to do? That is all that matters. If that's possible in your body's current state, then you are perfect as you are. You should post 5 pictures of those fun activities you can do.
If it's not possible in your body's current state, then start making progress, whether that means more strength or more endurance or whatever, to do those things you desire. And you should post 5 pictures of the efforts you're making.
And if, in those 5 pictures, you are a sweaty, ponytailed, unmakeuped messy disaster, then all the better!
Because the way you feel is more important than the way you look, and maybe when we stop trying to show only our best appearance, and instead just show ourselves in our real, honest glory, however that looks, we'll finally understand that it is in fact the GLORY of us that our loved ones truly love to see.
Our people don't care if we look perfect - they just want us to be perfectly happy.
While some of these pictures are more about the feeling they had at the time (such as hugging a child), most of them are pictures from a wedding, or posed family shots, where they were specifically dolled up to look their best.
This tells us that most of the time, in ordinary everyday life, they do not feel beautiful, and some may think it's sad that they don't feel beautiful every moment.
I think it's a goddamn tragedy that anyone even thinks about it.
Because here's the thing I want them, you, me, all of us to get: no one cares what you look like. And if they do, fuck them and their shallow bullshit. Yes, that goes for your significant other, too.
Think about it: I hope you can agree with me when I say that I don't give a flying fuck what my friends look like. I care who they are inside: kind, funny, generous, smart, fun. They don't need to lose weight or gain weight or get stronger to change my opinion about them; fat or lean or in between, they are the same wonderful person to me, and the outside is irrelevant. If they are supermodel beautiful on the outside, but act like assholes, then we're absolutely not going to hang out.
The extent I might care about my friends' appearance is this: are you healthy enough to do the things you want to do? That is all that matters. If that's possible in your body's current state, then you are perfect as you are. You should post 5 pictures of those fun activities you can do.
If it's not possible in your body's current state, then start making progress, whether that means more strength or more endurance or whatever, to do those things you desire. And you should post 5 pictures of the efforts you're making.
And if, in those 5 pictures, you are a sweaty, ponytailed, unmakeuped messy disaster, then all the better!
Because the way you feel is more important than the way you look, and maybe when we stop trying to show only our best appearance, and instead just show ourselves in our real, honest glory, however that looks, we'll finally understand that it is in fact the GLORY of us that our loved ones truly love to see.
Our people don't care if we look perfect - they just want us to be perfectly happy.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Your Body is NOT Your Masterpiece
Please please please go read this entire post. It says everything you need to hear.
Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you’ve got to offer the world. Your body is not your art, it’s your paintbrush. Whether your paintbrush is a tall paintbrush or a thin paintbrush or a stocky paintbrush or a scratched up paintbrush is completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that YOU HAVE A PAINTBRUSH which can be used to transfer your insides onto the canvas of your life- where others can see it and be inspired and comforted by it.
http://momastery.com/blog/2014/07/06/body-masterpiece/spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you’ve got to offer the world. Your body is not your art - See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/07/06/body-masterpiece/#sthash.jFN9Ex0v.dpuf
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Carrying Stress
A few weeks back I had a shitty experience with someone who is otherwise amazing, and I dwelled on it. And dwelled and dwelled and fucking DWELLED. I internalized the issue and basically could not stop thinking about it for days.
And then I read this short little blurb, and from then onward, whenever my thoughts started to trek back toward those awful thoughts, I would tell myself, "Put the glass down." This would interrupt that crazy train and settle my thoughts back down, until I was eventually over it.
It may also work for you. Take 30 seconds to read this: http://kathyhadleylifecoach.com/put-the-glass-down/
And then I read this short little blurb, and from then onward, whenever my thoughts started to trek back toward those awful thoughts, I would tell myself, "Put the glass down." This would interrupt that crazy train and settle my thoughts back down, until I was eventually over it.
It may also work for you. Take 30 seconds to read this: http://kathyhadleylifecoach.com/put-the-glass-down/
Friday, July 18, 2014
Watch Your Mouth!
This post, by the lovely Amy Kubal, is a great read. It's about how you talk to yourself, and how you'd never ever be such a giant asshole to your friends, so why the hell would you say it to you?
Definitely click all her links, too, for funny bonuses. Her sense of humor is probably why I love her. Well, that and she's a damn genius.
It's all here: http://robbwolf.com/2014/07/17/talking/
Go!!
Definitely click all her links, too, for funny bonuses. Her sense of humor is probably why I love her. Well, that and she's a damn genius.
Most of us approach others with gentleness, grace, understanding, kindness and we’re totally rational when looking at their situations. We know that it’s not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if our best friend confides that he/she ate a pan of brownies or if he/she hasn’t worked out in the last two weeks or if they didn’t get that promotion at work. We know that they’re going to be okay and we definitely don’t like or love them any less. Right?
Okay, so now think of the last conversation you had with yourself. Was it, in any way shape or form, gentle or complimentary? Was it even rational? It’s funny, how we completely break all of our communication etiquette rules when we talk to ourselves.
It's all here: http://robbwolf.com/2014/07/17/talking/
Go!!
About This Blog
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Purpose: To share things that will help you to show that you did...whatever that "did" is, from running to lifting to being a better person.
It may be some of my own musings, but mostly it will be recommended reading by assorted geniuses.
Or whatever I feel like sharing, because it's mine to play with.
What have you done to reach a goal today? Have you taken a step in the right direction? If not, ask yourself, is it really something you want? If it was, wouldn't you be doing everything in your power to realize it? Did your last training session reflect on your goals? Your last meal? Your last financial choice? The friends you surround yourself with? The way you handle relationships and responsibility? Is there any "here and now” impulse that is worth taking in place of your goals?
These are questions only you can and should answer. Don't lie to yourself, don't sell yourself short, don't make excuses. Instead of explaining why you can't, show that you did.
-Steve Reishus
Purpose: To share things that will help you to show that you did...whatever that "did" is, from running to lifting to being a better person.
It may be some of my own musings, but mostly it will be recommended reading by assorted geniuses.
Or whatever I feel like sharing, because it's mine to play with.
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