The Overkill Cult

Holy wow, did this ever hit close to home for me:

The Overkill Cult is a cultural delusion that working 60+ hour weeks at the expense of everything else in our lives is not only a necessary part of success, but that doing so is somehow honorable.

The insidious thing about the Overkill Cult is that it masquerades as all the things we like most about ourselves: dedication, ambition, follow-through, responsibility.

It tells us to push harder, stay later, sleep when we’re dead. It tells us we’re never going to get ahead if we don’t show up first and go home last.

Cleverly, wickedly, the Overkill Cult persuades us to hang ourselves with our own strengths.

And if we don’t break free, we’re all going to die.

http://lengstorf.com/overkill-cult/

I hope you don't see yourself described in perfect detail, as I did.

If you do...let's both change. I've already given notice at my soul-sucking corporate job (okay, it's not that bad, but it's on the fast-track to it), and soon I will trade it out for two half-time jobs that I already do & love.

I'm losing pay, benefits, and the prestige of leadership at a large (for my area) employer. And I don't care.

Because I'm gaining my sanity.

There will still be >40-hour weeks with these jobs; one of them means 15 straight loooong weeks during tax season. But I've already been doing that - and then it ends. The other job may require some longer days, or some later nights, sometimes weekend events. But they are temporary, and done for good, specific reasons; not indefinitely and because there is far too much work for far too few brains but no plan to change that problem, like my current employer.

Work is not your life. Your LIFE is your life, and work is meant to provide you with means to live the life you want. Make sure yours is doing that. If it's providing you means that you don't even have time to spend, then seriously, really, truly: you're doing it wrong. And if you have more time than money, consider that you might be the successful one.

You can always make more money.

You can never make more time.

Lose Weight Fast!

A VERY healthy dose of skepticism will assist you in your fat loss plans.

This is a fun read that points out allatha CRAP out there:

http://www.scibabe.com/jamesfell_weightlossinc/

Fix your hair!

Apparently, readers have written to this journalist, regarding her picture:

“How could anyone take seriously anything written by an author whose accompanying picture makes her look like a tramp, with greasy, matted, uncombed hair?” a fellow named David wrote me recently.

“For heaven sake, comb your hair,” offered a woman named Jacquie. “Your picture instills not one iota of a knowledgeable person.”

“I would ask you to develop some insight,” wrote Amy, “but anyone who thinks the hairstyle you have is attractive likely is overflowing with too much narcissism to grasp the idea of personal insight.”

http://www.womenyoushouldknow.net/hate-mail-lesson-uncombed-hair-threatens-the-natural-order/

What the fuck? This makes me want to punch people.

In the face.

With my car.

Perhaps I'm just being yet another example of this:

“Hair is a powerful symbol for women,” she said. “It’s where a woman’s appearance sort of begins, at the top of the body. When women have unruly hair they are considered to be disobedient and uncontrollable.”

Well, then, good. Because

Well-behaved women seldom make history. -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

To judge someone based on their hair is bullshit. And all too common. But seriously, complete, utter, total bullshit. And the same is true for every other aspect of appearance that we use to be Judgy McJudgersons.

Let's ALL knock off the bullshit.

Now. Yesterday.

I'm so busy!

How to Quit Being Overwhelmed for Good

It's time we all stopped being so busy.

It's become a bit cultish, really. Or like a badge of honor. It has become unacceptable to be anything but busy. But beyond that, it has become an unfortunate way we keep from truly engaging with each other, and with the present moment.

I'm not suggesting we quit our jobs or shirk our responsibilities; what I am proposing is a shift in attitude that requires a few simple, meaningful changes.

Imagine that you had a lover, and every activity with him or her brought feelings of anxiety. You spent lots of time together, but you were always overwhelmed and looking ahead to the next time you would meet and wonder how that would be. When we are constantly wrapped up in a state of overwhelm, this is what we are doing to our lives.

Yes YES YES!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bartolotta/how-to-quit-being-overwhelmed-for-good_b_6811330.html

Fear of Change

A Facebook post from Thomas Plummer, who drops daily knowledge bombs, and is worth your time to follow.

It isn't change that terrifies us; it is the fear of change that keeps us locked into the same old failing patterns in our lives. Often, the fear of change is such a powerful force that many would rather die than face the perceived demons and you can see this in every smoker or seriously overweight person. This person desperately wants change, but the perceived process of making this change is far scarier than to just keep on keeping on with the same old failing behavior. What the person is doing isn't working for him, but changing is far scarier than just dying slowly. This fear usually turns out to be the invisible monster under your child's bed that is imagination and dustballs and never the horrible reality we anticipate. The longer the mind dwells on the possibility of change, the faster it moves toward worse case scenario. If you are fearful of change in your life or business, focus on what might work rather than spend all your time anticipating the absolute worst case ever; that seldom ever happens except in your mind. Ask yourself this, "What if it works? Where will I be then?" Focus on the best case and let the silly monster stay under the bed with your old sweat socks where he belongs.

Absolutely, 100% true.

How many times were you afraid of doing something, maybe even outright terrified, yet did it anyway - and regretted it? Probably never.

How many times did you do this, and realize: "That wasn't so bad"? Probably every single damned time.

It's never as bad as you worry it will be, and it's never as HARD as you worry it will be. And if the end result is something you know that you want, why the hell would you let the fear of change stop you?

I've been in this boat recently regarding my job. I know what I want to do, and it's not what I'm doing now.

But making that change is scary, it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's vulnerable - and what if my dream job really isn't, and I'll wish I had just stayed where I am? Because where I am is okay, it pays the bills, it's fine, maybe I should just settle down & stay here.

That's the voice of fear. Fuck that voice! It's pointless to listen to that claptrap.

If it turns out this dream job isn't, then I'm back where I am now: at my formerly-dream-job that no longer fits me, and I'll find something that fits better. It won't be the end of the world that the voice of fear is constantly projecting.

Most importantly: "What if it works? Where will I be then?" I'll be at my freaking DREAM JOB, that's where I'll be! It would be stupid as hell to let the fear of change outweigh the possibility of landing my dream job. 

I can't and won't let the fear of change stop me. I won't settle for that small life, and I don't want you to, either.

Go big. Be more. Punch your fears in the face, and run toward all the glorious possibilities on your horizon.

Green with envy?

4 Ways to Stop Feeling Jealous of Other Women 

Remember high school? The social politics were ridiculous. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait to be an adult! 

I knew that I would grow up, and all of that “popular kids” vs “nobodies” stuff would go away. 

Somehow, though, “grown-up life” ended up feeling like more of the same. Except now the comparisons were of new homes, jobs and designer diaper bags! 

The thing is, that as long as you are looking for it, you will always find someone who has something that seems better than what you have. 

There is always a woman who just seems to have you beat in some way. She seems more successful. She seems to have her life together, is smarter, more charming. More whatever.

A great post; go read the tips here: http://www.girlsgonestrong.com/4-ways-to-stop-feeling-jealous-of-other-women/

And then pop back to read my confession about exactly this topic.

I'm known to be a pull-up machine. Like, addicted to doing them, addicted to tracking them, addicted to helping others do them, addicted to talking about them. I'm planning to do a million pounds of pull-ups over the course of the year, and have a goal of a single-arm chin-up. Yesterday my trainer & another trainer made jokes about me lat-punching people. I'm all about the pull-ups.

At the end of 2014, I celebragged on Facebook about my 5280 pulls, and challenged others to a competition for 2015. I somehow had 7 takers on that challenge, and so I created a spreadsheet for us all to track, complete with a weighted component & graphs.

Game on, bitches, come watch me kick ass!

And then I started losing.

By "losing," of course, I only mean I'm not in first place. I'm bouncing around 3rd/4th. 1st place is solidly owned by a friend who's turned into a pull-up BEAST, consistently doing massive amounts of them. She's doing about 250 a week, versus my "mere" 200, so every week she pulls farther and farther away. As of yesterday, March 17, she's done 2660 and I've done 2160.

I've had days where this has frustrated me, and I've thought about when/how I could add more, to at least keep up. Because dammit, this is supposed to be MY THING. Yet I'm in a high-stress work season, where I can't add more, even more of something that's so easy for me. So maybe I'll add more when this ends, I'll have 8.5 months to catch up to her. And surely she'll have to dial back once HER high-stress work season kicks in. Yeah, we'll be close by year-end. And, I weigh 20 lbs more, so at the very least I should be able to win the weighted component.

No.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

You know what my plan calls for? 130 a week. Not the 200 I'm actually doing. Right now I should be at 1437, but I'm actually at 2160.

Hold up! Stop and reread that: I'm at 150% of my plan. And note that my plan is seriously ambitious: 6900 pulls over the course of the year, a MEELLION pounds of pull-ups, which is 130% compared to last year.

But I'm currently on track to pull up 1,500,000 pounds over the year, which is HALF A MILLION POUNDS MORE THAN MY GOAL. That's completely insane! Maintaining this pace means I'll do an impressive 200% of the pulls I did last year.

I'm doing a ton more than last year, a ton more than my plan, because of the competitive spirit, because 3 other badasses keep raising the bar on what's normal, week after week, because of this woman that was making me so damn jealous.

When I truly stopped to absorb this, I realized I should be thanking this badass beast, not feeling jealous of her. I should encourage her pull-ups every single chance I get, because she is pulling ME up along with her! I owe my success to HER success.

For me, this is no longer a competition to beat each other. This is a competition against gravity, against tendinitis, to see just how much crazy we can pack into that single spreadsheet without injury or burnout. I want us all to do insane numbers FOR OURSELVES, whatever those numbers may be, regardless of the rest.

There's a dude in our competition who has been battling a chronic disease, and surgery recovery, and so many issues, it's a wonder he can do any pull-ups. For all it matters, he can come in last place with the same number of pull-ups I can log in a month, and he still wins at kicking life's ass.

And it's also true for me, and for the beast out in front of the numbers.

As long as we are still kicking & pulling, we are all winning in our individual game of life.

Take Care of YOU

Beautiful stuff:

Your Self-Care is Your (Damn) Divine Responsibility

Oftentimes though, our biggest untapped potential lives in the places that we are most resistant to going, that we are most afraid of. So, we decide to play small in our lives. We don’t risk. We don’t stand in the scarier arenas. We maintain status quo. The more we avoid taking care of our mind, body and souls, of doing the uncomfortable internal and external work to keep ourselves in our best mental and physical space, the less we take action. We become more afraid of external judgment, and the less we are willing to risk.

The more we ignore clearing the space of our CRAP, the more we become stuck in cycles of how things should look, of what other people think, how RIGHT we are, and how WRONG others are. We shift blame. We get caught up in US versus THEM. We live in our own bubble, numbed and protected, and leaving our potential totally untapped.

http://www.bethwittig.com/why-your-self-care-is-your-divine-responsiblity/


And after you're through with that great post, you can find many more fantastic posts here: http://www.bethwittig.com/library/